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| Posted by Sun -. Shine on 09-Aug-2005 | Christmas Cookie DouEvery year, Grandma and her grandkids, Suzy, Jill, and Billy come stay with her over Christmas. And every Christmas Eve they would make a big bowl of cookie dough so they could make cookies on Christmas Day. And every time, the next morning the cookie dough would be gone. The grandma could never catch them, so this year she put metal bb's in the cookie dough. The next morning, the cookie dough was gone and soon Suzy came running downstairs.
''Grandma, I went to the bathroom to pee and bb's came out.''
"Suzy," Grandma said.
"I know you've been eating cookie dough. Sit down."
Then Jill came down and said ''Grandma, I went poo and there was bb's in it.''
"Jill, I know you've been eating cookie dough. Sit down."
About five minutes later little Billy came.
''Grandma something terrible has happenend, I was jerking off in the garage and I shot the cat!''
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| Posted by iRiShBaBi Smith on 09-Aug-2005 | Night Of The LivingAn elderly couple are watching the 700 Club. The evangelist is getting really worked up, and it's soon time for the healing portion of the show.
"If you believe in the healing power of the Lord, place on hand on the television, and one hand on the part of your body that ails you!" The old man places one hand on the television and one hand on his groin.
"Oh, don't be stupid!" says the old woman.
"He said heal, not raise the dead!"
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| Posted by ~*JeSsIcA*~ on 09-Aug-2005 | RosebudThere was a young woman who lived with her grandmother. One night, the granddaughter came bouncing down the stairs dressed to go out to a party wearing a see-through blouse without a bra. Her grandmother told her to go back upstairs and "dress decent".
''No, I want to show off my rosebuds!'' she said and bounded out the door. The next day, the granddaughter came outside to find her grandmother on the porch wearing a see-through blouse without a bra.
''Grandmother! What are you doing? A couple of other friends are coming over any time now! Please go change your blouse, I'm so embarrassed!''
''No. If you can show off them rosebuds then I can show off my hanging baskets.''
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| Posted by Hansen H. Lieu on 09-Aug-2005 | Toy Story SexIn Toy Story, why didn't the pig want to have sex?
His cork fell out!
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| Posted by Irena Z. Paluch on 09-Aug-2005 | TWINKEYSTHIS GUY THREW HIS USED CONDEM OUT THE WINDOW BECAUSE IT WAS FILLED UP WITH HIS JUICE SO THE GUY WAS ALL OUT OF CONDOMS SO HE GOES TO THE STORE AND ASKS FOR A CONDOM HES ALL OUT TO SO HE GOES TO HIS BETS FRIEND AND ASKS IF HE COULD USE ONE OF HIS HE WAS ALL OUT TOO SO WHEN HE WAS WALKING BACK TO HIS APPARTMENT HE DECIDED THAT HE AS GONNA JUST GO FIND HIS USED ONE THAT HE THREW OUT THE WINDOW SO HE GOES TO THE SPOT THAT HE THREW HIS CONDEM BUT THER WASA LITTLE GIRL THERE SO THE GIRL PICKED UP THE CONDEM BUT THE LITTLE GIRL DIDNT NO WHAT IT WAS SO THE GUY SAID TO THE LITTLE GIRL I WILL GIVE YOU $1.00 FOR THAT TWINKEY SO THE GIRL SAID OK SO THE GUY GETS HIS CONDEM BASK AND THE LITTLE GRIL GOES TO HE HOUSE AND SAYS TO HER MOM AND SAYS MOM I JIPED THIS GUY HE GAVE ME A $1.00 FOR A TWINKEY BUT I SUCKED OUT ALL THE CREAM
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| Posted by LadyBrat on 09-Aug-2005 | My Dick is soooo bigThere are many ways to describe just how well endowed you are, for example...
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