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| Posted by Cyberventurer on 09-Aug-2005 | chronic migraineThis guy gets these chronic migraine headaches. One day he sees a doctor about his problem.
The doctor gives him a thorough examination and says, "I can cure your headaches, but I'll have to cut your balls off to do it."
At first the man is horrified at this idea, but the headaches keep getting worse and worse. He can't work or sleep, his sex life is nonexistent, and he's generally miserable. Finally, he goes back to the doctor and says, "I don't care anymore, cut them off. Just get rid of these damned headaches!
The doctor performs the operation, and immediately the headaches go away.
The guy is relatively happy, now. He may not have a sex life, but he figures this is price he has to pay for a life without pain. One day, he decides to get himself a new wardrobe. He goes to this nice new men's shop downtown.
As soon as he walks in the door, the clerk looks carefully at him and says, "You wear a 44 long jacket, don't you?" The guy says, "Yeah, how did you know?"
"It's in the eye," says the clerk. "Your neck is seventeen and one quarter inches, but given your build, medium shirt sleeves should work."
"That is incredible!" the guy says. "Hmm... and you wear a 36 large jockstrap."
"Ah hah! You're wrong," the guy says gleefully. "I wear a 32 small jockstrap."
"No, you have to wear a 36 large," says the clerk.
"Look, I'm sorry, but you're wrong. I wear a 32 small."
That's impossible," says the confused clerk. "A 32 small jockstrap would pinch your balls and give you migraine headaches."
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| Posted by Sandeep S. Tatle on 09-Aug-2005 | Dogs can do itTwo men walk out of a bar and notice a dog laying on the side walk licking it's dick.
One man turns to the other and says "I wish I could do that."
The other man replies, "You probably can, but you had better pet him first."
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| Posted by William A. Jones on 09-Aug-2005 | Gold prospectingA prospector on his first trip to Alaska met an old miner named Jake at the local saloon and decided to join him on his next trip since he was an old hand at looking for gold in the Yukon. The next day as they were finishing loading the dog sled with supplies the old timer told him to go find a board with a knot hole in it.
The rookie ask why and was told that they would be in the back country a long time and they would not see any women until they returned to town. Well the young prospector thought this was crazy but found a board to appease the old man.
About eight months later the young prospector walked back into town alone. One of the towns people ask him what had happened to old Jake.
" Well", the young prospector answered, " I had to kill him."
"Why on earth did you have to do that for," ask the townsman.
The prospector looked him in the eye and stated. "Caught him in bed with my BOARD."
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| Posted by Michael Youngmark on 09-Aug-2005 | Long slongA white man noticed the impressive length of the black man's penis at the adjacent urinal.
"Sure wish I had one like your's."
The black man replied "You can--just tie a string around it and hang weight on the end of the string. Put the weight down your pant leg, and you can have one like mine."
The white man thanked him for the suggestion and left.
Some weeks later, they met again in the lavatory.
The black man asked how the project was going.
"Great--I'm half way there!" "Really?" said the black man.
"Yes. It's black!"
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| Posted by nitrice oxyde on 09-Aug-2005 | Fly openMr. Reiss got himself a new secretary. Maggie was young, sweet and polite.
One day while taking dictation, Maggie noticed his fly was open and, on leaving the room, she said "Oh, Mr Reiss, did you know that your barracks door is open?"
He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new secretary. Calling her in, he asked "By the way, Miss Bolt, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you see a soldier standing at attention?" She was quite witty.
"Why, no, Mr. Reiss" she replied. "All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two old duffel bags."
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| Posted by KrAzYBoY on 09-Aug-2005 | Drink, dance and ...Back in the Good Old Days, when Dudley Fudpucker was whooping it up in college, he was standing at a bar one evening, when a lady of enticing appearance approached him and suggested that they have a drink.
Dudley said, "Well, I'm no John D. Rockefeller, but I'll buy."
After developing a slight buzz, she suggested a dance.
Dudley smiled and said, "I'm no Fred Astaire, but I'll give it a whirl."
Later, she suggested that they go up to her room. "I'm no Cary Grant," replied Dudley, "but I'll follow you up there." They leave and go to the lady's apartment. They have another drink, then do what had been on their minds all evening, anyway.
Afterward, the lady says, "What about some money?"
Dudley shot back, "Well, I'm no gigolo, but I'll take it!"
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