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| Posted by Rubber Ducky on 09-Aug-2005 | Close enough80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home.
She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"
An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"
Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by mega on 09-Aug-2005 | What daysI asked my boyfriend yesterday what days he preferred to engage in sexual activity.
He answered " Tuesdays, Thursdays,Thanksgiving, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday and Thunday!!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Kyrstin Underbakke on 09-Aug-2005 | What ColourA man goes into a chemist's shop, and asks for a packet of condoms. The assistant asks him what variety he would like.
"How about the new box of condoms of different colors?"
So he buys a packet of 12 mixed colors and goes away.
A few months later he's in the maternity wear shop buying a maternity dress for his wife.
"What bust?" asked the assistant.
"The yellow one."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Nina on 09-Aug-2005 | SealWhat do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Dean A. Evans on 09-Aug-2005 | IslandsQ: What do you get when Dolly Parton does the backstroke?
A: Islands In The Stream.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing
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| Posted by Lavin Beldleveu on 09-Aug-2005 | Sexual requestOlga, the Danish chambermaid at the Catskill mountain hotel, was constantly being chased by Hirshberg, one of the guests. Every time he got near her, she ran away from him.
One day he grabbed the pretty Dane and whispered his sexual request in her ear.
To his amazement, she agreed to meet him in his room that night.
"If you're willing," said the man, "why did you keep running away from me?"
"Well," said the Danish girl, "all time I tink you vant extra towel!"
Submitted by Clark Kent
Edited by Curtis
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