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():sex jokes (1888): Concerned about the Newlyweds


Posted by BRADY COLLINS on 13-Aug-2005

Concerned about the Newlyweds

A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin in the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and hadn't been seen for five days. The elderly woman who ran the resort got concerned about the welfare of the newlyweds, and sent her husband to check on them. The husband knocks on the door of the cabin, and a weak voice from inside answers.

The old man asks, "Are you young folks all right?"

"Yes, we're fine," the man answered. We're living on the fruits of love."

The old man replied, "I kinda figured that. Say...would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window? They're choking my ducks!"


   

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():sex jokes (1888): Popular at the Nudist Camp


Posted by Slider1489 on 13-Aug-2005

Popular at the Nudist Camp

Q. Do you know who the most popular man at a nudist colony is?
A. The man with two cups of coffee and 12 donutes.

Q. Do you know who the most popular woman is at a nudist colony is?
A. She is the person that can eat all 12 donuts.


   

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():sex jokes (1888): Flea Travels


Posted by Dana K. Kam on 13-Aug-2005

Flea Travels

A flea had oiled up his little flea legs and his little flea arms, had spread out his blanket, and was proceeding to soak up the Miami sun when who should stumble by on the beach but an old flea friend of his.

"Oscar, what happened to you?", asked the flea, because Oscar looked terrible, wrapped up in a blanket, his nose running, his eyes red, and his teeth chattering.

"I got a ride down here in some guy's mustache and he came down here by motorcycle. I nearly froze my nuts off," wheezed Oscar.

"Let me give you a tip, old pal," said the first flea, spreading some more suntan oil on his shoulders. "You go to the stewardess lounge at the airport, see, and you get up on the toilet seat, and when an Air Florida stewardess comes in to take a leak, you hop on for a nice warm ride. Got it?"

So you can imagine the flea's surprise when, a month or so later, while stretched out all warm and comfortable on the beach, who should he see but Oscar - looking more chilled and miserable than before.

"Listen," said Oscar, "I did everything you said. I made it to the stewardess lounge and waited till a really cute one came in, and made a perfect landing and got so warm and cozy that I dozed right off."

"And so?" asked the first flea.

"And so the next thing I know, I'm on this guy's mustache again!"


   

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():sex jokes (1888): X rated Screendoor


Posted by Angel Chick on 13-Aug-2005

X rated Screendoor

How is a girl like a screen door?

The harder you bang it, the looser it gets.


   

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():sex jokes (1888): Little Johnny's Speech Impediment


Posted by CBKool on 13-Aug-2005
Little Johnny's Speech Impediment
Little Johnny and his little red wagon goes to the store and he asks the clerk "do you have any bum?"

The clerk said, "no you mean gum."

Then Johnny asks the clerk "do you have a fuck it?"

The clerk said "no you mean a bucket."

Finally Johnny asks the clerk " do you have a cock and spank it?"

The clerk said "no you mean a cocker spaniel."

As Little Johnny goes home with all of his stuff in his little red wagon he suddenly forgot one more thing so he goes up to a old man and he said to him.

"Sir can you hold my bum and fuck it while I get my cock and spank it?!"


   

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():sex jokes (1888): Yo momma is so horny


Posted by Frank Geritano on 13-Aug-2005
Yo momma is so horny
Editor's Note: We get so many yo momma jokes that I decided to group them. Keep checking back, this is likely to grow

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yo momma's like a door knob, every one get a turn

yo momma's like a hardware store, 10 cents a screw

yo momma's like a light switch, easy to turn on

yo momma's like a tv, a two year old can turn her on.

yo momma is so desperate she told me that she would give me a blow job for a quarter.

yo momma is so horny she's on the fence sayin' here kitty kitty.


   

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