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| Posted by amanda m. fuentes on 10-Aug-2005 | CONDOM-MINIMUMA father and his son go into the drug store when they happen upon the condom
aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of
condoms.
The father replies, ???Well, you see that 3 pack? That's for when
you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night."
Nodding agreement, the son asks his father,???Then what's the 6 pack for?"
"That's for when you're in college," the father says. "You have 2 for Friday
night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning."
Following this line of logic, the son enthusiastically asks what the 12 pack
is for.
"That's for when you're married, son. You have one for January, one for
February, one for March..."
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| Posted by Chris C. Perry on 10-Aug-2005 | Both croaked.A man came home and found his wife in bed with another man. He challenged the
stranger to a duel. They walked into another room and closed the door. Then the
man said to the stranger, "Why should any of us die? Let's both shoot into the
air, then we fall to the floor and wait. She will sprint in. To whomever she
will rush, let that man have her." The stranger agreed. They both shot into the
air and fell to the floor. The wife rushed in, looked at the two bodies and
shouted, "Darling, you may come out, they both croaked."
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| Posted by Justin Lebar on 10-Aug-2005 | WHERE BABIES COME FROMOne day a five year old little girl excitedly approached her mother, and
announced that she had learned where babies come from. The mother was amused and
said, "Oh really sweetie, why don't you tell me all about it?"
The little girl then explained, "Well ... the mommy and daddy take off all of
their clothes and the daddy's wiener stands way up high and the mommy kneels on
the floor and puts the daddy's wiener in her mouth, and then the daddy's wiener
sort of explodes and makes sticky juice into the mommy's mouth, and then the
mommy swallows the sticky juice, and that's where babies come from."
The mother looked lovingly at her daughter, leaned over to meet her eye to eye
and said, "Oh honey, that's sweet, but that's not where babies come from ...
that's where jewelry comes from."
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| Posted by Mathman2 on 10-Aug-2005 | ROSEBUDSThere was a young woman who lived with her grandmother. One night the
granddaughter came bouncing down the stairs dressed to go out to a party wearing
a see through blouse without a bra. Her grandmother told her to go back up
stairs and "dress decent."
The young woman said, "No, I want to show off my rosebuds" and went out the
door.
The next day the granddaughter came outside to find her grandmother on the
porch wearing the see through blouse without a bra.
"Grandmother!! What are you doing? My boyfriend and a couple of other friends
are coming over any time now!" she cried. "Please go change your blouse, I'm so
embarrassed!!"
The older woman replied, "Well if you can show off your rosebuds then I can
show off my hanging baskets."
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| Posted by ahley lawson on 10-Aug-2005 | SlipsA man was in his apartment wearing only the slips. His wife said, "Dress up,
guests must be coming every moment."
"Let them see me this way, so they know how you feed me."
"Then take off also the slips, so they may tell me what for should I feed
you."
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| Posted by Fluffy on 10-Aug-2005 | DINGERSTwo parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father
goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.
The son comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with
boobies a lot bigger than yours!"
The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,
"Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"
The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,
"Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and
more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"
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