|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Mob Kill on 12-Aug-2005 | Confucious SayConfucious say...
All who fly upside-down have crack up.
He who stand on toilet high on pot.
He who shits brick has square hole.
Fly who sit on toilet seat get pissed off.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Melissa Phillips on 12-Aug-2005 | Don\'t Mess With The I.R.S!To: All Male U.S. Citizens From: I.R.S. Service Center Re: Notice of increase in tax payments The only thing that the I.R.S. has not taxed yet is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 20% of the time it is pissed off, 30% of the time it is hard up and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has 2 dependants and they are both nuts.
Effective January 1, 1998 your penis will be taxed according to size.
------- The categories are as follows: ------- 10 - 12 inches.......Luxury Tax $
30.00 8 -
10...............Pole Tax $
25.00 5 -
8................Privilege Tax $
15.00 4 -
5................Nuisance Tax $
3.00
Males exceeding 12" must file a capital gains return. NOTE: Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION! ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Sincerely, Pecker Checker I.R.S
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Chelsey Frizzo on 12-Aug-2005 | The Wish.....There was this boy that lived with his mother.
One night the boy woke up and went to the restroom and on his way he passed his mothers room and looked in and saw his mom rubbing her breasts and saying" I NEED A MAN". Then he went to bed.
The next night the same thing happened, she was there rubbing her breasts and saying"I NEED A MAN".
On the third night the woman had a man in bed with her when the son looked in.
Right away the boy went to his room and stood in front of the mirror rubbing hiself and saying....I NEED A BIKE"..........
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Dee Dawg on 12-Aug-2005 | Why Do They Do That?Why do they manufacture perfumed bathroom tissue when our noses are on our faces?
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Victor Alway on 12-Aug-2005 | The Dump ListThe Perfect Dump - Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it.
The Beer Dump - Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. It could have been 2 or 22, it doesn't matter. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.
The Chili Dump - Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.
The Cable Dump - Long, curly and perfectly formed like 2 feet of E13 telephone CO-axial cable. It loops lazily around the bowl, like a friendly serpent. You wonder admiringly, "DID I DO THAT? Where did it come from?" you leave the bathroom pleased with yourself.
The Latrine Dump - In case you didn't know, a latrine is a hole in the ground with a tent around it where soldiers, boy scouts and flies go to dump.Tip: Don't ever, ever look in the hole.
The Mona Lisa Dump - This is the masterpiece of dumps. It's as perfectly formed as it can be. Delicate and slender with intricacies that would make da Vinci weep. And just think, you made it yourself. You may even want to break out the Polaroid, but maybe that's going a bit too far.
The Empty Roll Dump - You're done...you reach for the toilet paper only to discover that empty cardboard cylinder. A mild panic begins coldly in your throat. You could use the curtains...no, someone would say "Where are the curtains?
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by nikki m on 12-Aug-2005 | Long TongueThere was once a guy whose tongue was so long that when he stuck it out for the doctor, the nurse went, "Aaaaaahhh!!!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
