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| Posted by "Leppy" on 09-Aug-2005 | ConstipationDid you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
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| Posted by Thomas Parry on 09-Aug-2005 | Star ship enterpriseWhat's in the toilet of the star ship enterprise? The captains log.
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| Posted by Paul Lai on 09-Aug-2005 | Kiss That HorseA cowboy rides his horse to a saloon and kisses his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink.
The bartender serves him and asks him why he did that.
"I have chapped lips."
"Does manure help them heal?"
"No, but it keeps me from licking them."
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| Posted by Morpheus on 09-Aug-2005 | Bed FootballAn old man was in bed with his wife when suddenly he let out a loud fart. He yelled, "7 points!"
His wife looked at him and said, "What the hell are you doing?"
He simply replied, "Just playing bed football."
Ten minutes later the wife let a loud one and said, "Tie game - 7,7."
The husband's competitive side kicked in and he started starting straining... when suddenly he crapped his pants! His wife looks over and said, "Now what's the score?"
He said, "Still 7,7. End of quarter switch sides!!!"
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| Posted by Raymond m. Dawood on 09-Aug-2005 | boogers and broccoliWhat's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids don't eat broccoli!
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| Posted by QTKo on 09-Aug-2005 | Camoflauge ClothingThere once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant.
"It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."
"That's very sensible, sir."
At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned.
"Get my brown pants."
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