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| Posted by Lauren Adamowsky C. Adamowsky on 09-Aug-2005 | Control IssuesThree men are at a bar, and two of the men are acting very macho and talking about the control they have over their wives. The third remains silent.
After a while, the first two men turn to the third and ask, "What about you? What kind of control do you have over your wife?"
The third man turns to the first two and says, "Well, I'll tell you, just the other day I had her on her knees."
The first two men were dumbfounded.
"Whoa! What happened next?", they asked, inching closer to hear what the third man had to say.
The third man took a healthy swig of his beer, sighed and said, "Yep. I had her on her knees. Until she started screaming, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man!'"
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| Posted by Raynman M on 09-Aug-2005 | Skin TransplantA married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft the skin from her body, so the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor found suitable would have to come from his rear end.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.
She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied," think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
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| Posted by nick eckhardt on 09-Aug-2005 | Mutual OrgasamAn extensive interview was being conducted on an old couple.
The questions got more and more personal until finally the interviewer asked the man and woman . . . . . DO YOU TWO HAVE MUTUAL ORGASAM?
The man and woman look at each other rather puzzled and they both replied: NO . . . . . STATE FARM.
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| Posted by Matt Zeypher on 09-Aug-2005 | Lets Get KinkyOne day grandpa says to grandma "Why don't we go to the motel like we used to do when we were young and get kinky?"
So they get to the motel and go into the room.
Grandpa takes off his glasses and says he going to get into the shower to freshen up.
In the meantime grandma takes off her clothes and gets into bed.
She decides to do some leg stretches to limber up ( it's been awhile ).
Well she throws her legs over her head and they get caught in the headboard.
Right then grandpa walks out of the bathroom and sees her that way.
"My God woman" he says "you need to put your teeth in and comb your hair, you look like an asshole!"
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| Posted by Heather R. Winter on 09-Aug-2005 | Caught In The ActHosni Mubarak and his wife are in Rio de Janeiro on vacation.
When there's no-one around, they decide to make love on the beach.
Unfortunately some of Rio's finest, catch them in their birthday suits and arrest them for 'lewd conduct'.
Now Hosni's not too enthusiastic about being arrested so he asks the police officer whether a simple fine wouldn't do.
The police officer agrees to this and asks Hosni whether it's his first offense.
He then proceeds to write up a ticket for Hosni for the sum of 100 cruzeiros (Brazilian currency), and a ticket for Hosni's wife for the sum of 300 cruzeiros.
Hosni asks the police officer why he's getting a 100 cruzeiro fine, while his wife is getting a 300 cruzeiro fine.
The cop tells him that since it's a first offense, it's only 100 cruzes, his wife on the other hand, she's been caught twice before.
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| Posted by CrazyBaby on 09-Aug-2005 | Chastity Belt Key!In days of old, when knights were bold, this particular knight was leaving for a crusade and called one of his squires, "I'm leaving for the crusade.
Here is the key to my wife's chastity belt. If, in 10 years, I haven't returned, you may use the key as I'm sure she will have needs"
The knight sets out on the dusty road, armored from head to toe. He takes one last look at his castle and sees the squire rushing across the drawbridge, yelling, "Stop! Stop!
Thank goodness I was able to catch you. This is the WRONG KEY."
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