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| Posted by w pit on 09-Aug-2005 | Corn FlakesTwo brothers are getting ready for school. One boy is sitting down, having a bowl of Corn Flakes, the other is frantically looking for an item for show-and-tell.
''I know I put it here somewhere'' he says. He then remembers that he put it in the kitchen for safe keeping the night before. He dashes for the kitchen and stops at his brother, still eating his cereal.
''Hey, you found my scab collection.''
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| Posted by Mikah B. Horn on 09-Aug-2005 | Corpsalicious!One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, ''There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything.'' After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same. After hesitating, they all did it. ''Next,'' the professor said, ''you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger.''
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| Posted by Krista N. Andrson on 09-Aug-2005 | Dear DiarrheaDidja hear that diarrhea's hereditary?
Yeah, it runs in the jeans!
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| Posted by Waz Up on 09-Aug-2005 | Divine FlatulenceWhy did God make farts smelly?
So deaf people can enjoy them too!
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| Posted by holly mcmahon on 09-Aug-2005 | DoorprizeJosi frequently attends his church Bingo club, where every week a gag doorprize is given out. One week, Josi is presented with a toilet brush.
''What the hell is this?'' he asks the pastor.
''Why, it's a toilet brush.''
''Ooh, I see,'' says Josi. A couple weeks later, the pastor jokingly asks Josi how the brush is working.
''Well, it's okay, but I think I'll go back to using paper.''
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| Posted by Simba A. Rafiki on 09-Aug-2005 | Fart GlossaryART FART= it's such a beauty you want to immortalize it on canvas.
ARROGANT FART= When you think your farts don't stink.
ASSUALT FART= A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your arse.
TIRE FART= You can't control the blow out.
BEER FARTS= These come out of every 'can' and smell like warm beer.
JAIL FART= Been doing time inside you for quite awhile, and finally makes its great escape.
DONKEY FART= Your ass is the only one that can do it.
GHOST FART= You can't hear it, you can't see it, and you can't smell it.
HOME ALONE FART= When you're home alone and a great one is wasted on no one.
SHOE FART= When you bend over to tie your shoe laces and one escapes.
TANK FART= When you refer to your farts as 'gas'.
OLD FART= You know how old it is by how bad it smells.
BRAIN FART= You need to fart, but nothing comes out.
ALZHEIMER FART= A confused fart that heads the wrong way, and becomes a burp.
NOT-ME FART= When you drop a bomb in a crowded elevator, turn around to the person behind you and give a disgusted look and whisper "PIG!"
U.F.O. FART= When someone farts in crowded room, label it as a "Unidentified Foul Odor".
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