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| Posted by Mikah B. Horn on 09-Aug-2005 | Corpsalicious!One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, ''There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything.'' After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same. After hesitating, they all did it. ''Next,'' the professor said, ''you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger.''
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| Posted by Krista N. Andrson on 09-Aug-2005 | Dear DiarrheaDidja hear that diarrhea's hereditary?
Yeah, it runs in the jeans!
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| Posted by Waz Up on 09-Aug-2005 | Divine FlatulenceWhy did God make farts smelly?
So deaf people can enjoy them too!
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| Posted by holly mcmahon on 09-Aug-2005 | DoorprizeJosi frequently attends his church Bingo club, where every week a gag doorprize is given out. One week, Josi is presented with a toilet brush.
''What the hell is this?'' he asks the pastor.
''Why, it's a toilet brush.''
''Ooh, I see,'' says Josi. A couple weeks later, the pastor jokingly asks Josi how the brush is working.
''Well, it's okay, but I think I'll go back to using paper.''
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| Posted by Simba A. Rafiki on 09-Aug-2005 | Fart GlossaryART FART= it's such a beauty you want to immortalize it on canvas.
ARROGANT FART= When you think your farts don't stink.
ASSUALT FART= A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your arse.
TIRE FART= You can't control the blow out.
BEER FARTS= These come out of every 'can' and smell like warm beer.
JAIL FART= Been doing time inside you for quite awhile, and finally makes its great escape.
DONKEY FART= Your ass is the only one that can do it.
GHOST FART= You can't hear it, you can't see it, and you can't smell it.
HOME ALONE FART= When you're home alone and a great one is wasted on no one.
SHOE FART= When you bend over to tie your shoe laces and one escapes.
TANK FART= When you refer to your farts as 'gas'.
OLD FART= You know how old it is by how bad it smells.
BRAIN FART= You need to fart, but nothing comes out.
ALZHEIMER FART= A confused fart that heads the wrong way, and becomes a burp.
NOT-ME FART= When you drop a bomb in a crowded elevator, turn around to the person behind you and give a disgusted look and whisper "PIG!"
U.F.O. FART= When someone farts in crowded room, label it as a "Unidentified Foul Odor".
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| Posted by john mcgilvray on 09-Aug-2005 | Ending It AllAn 83-year old woman decided that she'd seen and done everything, and the time had come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she came to the conclusion that the quickest and surest method would be to shoot herself through the heart. The trouble was, she wasn't certain about exactly where her heart was, so she phoned her doctor and asked him. He told her that her heart was located two inches below her left nipple. So she shot herself in the left kneecap.
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