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| Posted by anglebaby on 09-Aug-2005 | Cowboy BootsAn elderly couple is vacationing in the West.
Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots.
Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them back to the hotel, walking proudly.
He walks into their hotel room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Helen?"
Helen looks him over, "Nope."
Sam says excitedly, "Come on, Helen, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?"
Helen looks again, "Nope."
Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots.
Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything
DIFFERENT?"
Helen looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, HELEN? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!"
To which Helen replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam, shoulda bought a hat."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tanatilazing
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| Posted by Rasha Haider on 09-Aug-2005 | Gone fishing?A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend.
They "entertain themselves" for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings.
Since it's her house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover watches her and listens intently, only hearing her side of the conversation.
Speaking in a cheery voice, she says, "Hello? Oh, hi! I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you!
That sounds terrific! Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye, bye."
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh," she replies, "that was my husband. He was telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by anna hindu on 09-Aug-2005 | BreakfastAn angry wife met her elderly husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek.
"I assume," she snarled, "that there's a very good reason for your waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is." he replied, "It's called breakfast."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by sea chelle on 09-Aug-2005 | Are you married?Q. Are you married?
A. No, I'm divorced.
Q. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A. A lot of things I didn't know about.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by travis on 09-Aug-2005 | ImprovementWhat's the difference between a marriage and a mental hospital?
At a mental hospital you have to show improvement to get out.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Tom Nanney on 09-Aug-2005 | GonnerOne day little Susie went into her back yard and found her dog Muffles lying dead with its legs up in the air.
She asked, "Daddy, Daddy, why are Muffles legs in the air?"
Thinking quickly, her dad replied, "This way Jesus can come down and take Muffles to heaven easier."
The next day when Susie's dad came home, she ran up to him and said, "Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today."
Flustered, her father said, "Honey, what happened?"
"Well, Mommy's legs were up in the air and she was screaming 'Oh Jesus, I'm coming, I'm coming' and if it wasn't for the milkman holding her down she would have been a gonner."
Submitted By Calamjo
Edited by dolly04
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