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| Posted by Cristyn B. Militello on 10-Aug-2005 | Crash diet.My sister went on a crash diet.
Is that why she looks a wreck?"
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():love jokes (2491): It's hard for my sister to eat. |
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| Posted by Lindsey L. D on 10-Aug-2005 | It's hard for my sister to eat.Fred: It's hard for my sister to eat.
Harry: Why?
Fred: She can't bear to stop talking.
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| Posted by CHEQUITA on 10-Aug-2005 | Sister MargaretSister Margaret was a model nun all of her life, until she was called to get
her just rewards. As she approached the pearly gates, Saint Peter said "Hold on,
Sister Margaret...not so fast!"
"But I have been good all my life and dedicated to the work of the Lord. From
the time the sisters at the convent took me in as an infant to my dying
breath... I have lived for this moment!" Sister Margaret exclaimed in disbelief.
"That is precisely the problem," replied St. Peter, "...you never learned
right from wrong and to get into heaven, you must know the difference between
right and wrong".
"Well, what can I do? I will do anything to get into heaven!" Sister Margaret
pleaded.
"I am going to have to send you back down to Earth. When you get there, I want
you to smoke a cigarette and call me when you are finished. We will discuss your
situation then." ordered St. Peter.
Sister Margaret returned to Earth, smoked a Camel, and then immediately called
St. Peter, coughing and hacking. "Saint Peter" she gasped, "I can hardly
breathe, my mouth tastes terrible, my breath stinks, I feel dizzy, and I think I
am going to throw up".
"Good!" replied the old saint, "Now you are finally getting a feel for right
and wrong. Now go out tonight and drink some hard liquor and call me back when
you are ready."
Sister Margaret phoned St. Peter immediately after taking several belts of
Jack Daniels.
"Saint Peter, I feel woozy... that vile liquid burned my throat and nauseated
me...it is all I can do to keep it down."
"Good...good! Now you are starting to see the difference between right and
wrong," said St. Peter with delight.
"Tomorrow I want you to seek out a man and know him in the Biblical sense, and
then call me."
A week passed before Sister Margaret called St. Peter and left a message: "Yo,
Pete...it's Peggy...It's gonna be a while!"
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| Posted by Diana Shalmi on 10-Aug-2005 | Pregnant sisterA Dr. is walking down through the hall of the hospital toward his office when
he passes Mother Angelica walking very briskly while saying her rosary rather
loudly. His associate, a Psychiatrist, comes around the corner next and he asks
him about this.
"Hey, what's with Mother Angelica? She was just hoofing down the hall and
saying her rosary to beat the band."
"Aw, I just told her she was pregnant."
"My God, is she?"
"No, of course not, but it sure cured her hiccups!"
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| Posted by emily on 10-Aug-2005 | Pregnant sisterMother: What are you doing with that saw and where's your little brother?
Youngster: He, he, he's my half-brother now.
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| Posted by Jeffrey Jones D. Jones on 10-Aug-2005 | Haunted houseA ghost was sitting in a haunted house all alone when another ghost came in.
It said, "Hello, I'm your long lost brother???. The first ghost said "Oooo?"
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