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| Posted by i want pie on 14-Aug-2005 | Creamy Love :-)There was this boy of 13 called danny.
Danny was a very horny little boy and had just started going out
with this really fit girl named Laura.
One day he asked her for sex at her house.
She agreed and they started to get down to it when they heard
the front door click,
"Oh no,it's Laura's parents!" he thought,and squeezed himself
into her wardrobe naked with his clothes behind him on the floor
of the wardrobe.
Laura's Mum came in to put some clothes away in her wardrobe and
felt
something long and dangly in the wardrobe.
She wondered what it was and sqeezed it hard.
"Thats funny" she said, and sqeezed it again.
"There's something weird in here Laura".
"What mum?" said Laura shakily.
She sqeezed it once more and recoiled with surprise,
"Laura!" She shouted,looking at her hand "Pleeeease dont put
hand-cream dispensers in your wardrobe!!!"
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| Posted by Jokester Man on 14-Aug-2005 | Like, Father, Like Son...A boy and his dad went on a trip to Texas.
The dad brought some Beer and a sandwich for the 2 day trip. The
boy, however, bruoght only candy.
As they were about to have dinner, the man pulled out some beer.
The boy asked, "Dad, can I have some beer?"
"Can you stick your dick up your ass?"
"No!"
"Well, there's your answer!"
The man then got his sandwich ready for eating, and the boy
asked, "Dad, can I try a tidbit of your sandwich?"
"Can you stick your dick up your ass?"
"No!"
"Well, there's your answer!"
So the boy decided to have some candy. The dad asked, "Son, can
I have a piece of candy?"
"Can you stick your dick up your ass?"
The man cleverly said, "Yes!"
The boy then said, "Then go fuck yourself!!!"
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| Posted by Lowell E. Parson on 14-Aug-2005 | Alternate Toilet PaperA bloke goes into a pub in the middle of nowhere, needing to go
to the toilet. The barman directs him outside, where a rickety
old dunny is.
The man does his buisness, and is about to wipe his arse when he
sees that there is no toilet paper. However, there is a note
nailed to the wall, which reads- We are sorry about the lack of
toilet paper, we ask you to please wipe yourself with your
finger, then stick it through a hole in the wall, where it will
be cleaned.
The bloke dosen't think much of this, but he decides to follow
the request. So he cleans himself with his finger, then sticks
it out of the hole. All of a sudden it is hit by a hammer. So he
pulls his finger in...... and sucks it.
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| Posted by harmonie on 14-Aug-2005 | Condom Week25 slogans for national comdom week.
Cover your stump before you hump.
Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.
Don't be silly, protect your willy.
When in doubt, shroud your spout.
Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong.
If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
If you slip between her thighs, condomize.
It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.
She won't get sick, if you wrap your dick.
If you go into heat, package your meat.
While your undressing venus, dress up your penis.
When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse.
Especially in December, gift wrap your member.
Never ever deck her, with an unwraped pecker.
Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.
The right selection, is to protect your erection.
Wrap it in foil, before checking her oil.
A crank with armor, will never harm her.
If you really love her, wear a cover.
Don't make a mistake, cover your snake.
Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.
If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.
No glove, No love.
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| Posted by Steve j. Kapton on 14-Aug-2005 | Mom's SpongeLittle Tommy runs into the bathroom one day to find his mother
taking a bath. He points at her bush and asks, "What's that
Mommy?"
A little embarrassed, she tells him that is is her sponge. Tommy
is satisfied with that answer and goes back to playing with his
toys. Some time later, Tommy catches his mother in the shower
shortly after she has shaved her bush for bikini season. Tommy
asks her, "Where is your sponge mommy?"
Again embarrassed she tells him that she lost it but will
probably find it soon. Tommy is a little worried and promises
his mommy that he will help her find it. His mother says okay,
and goes back to showering. Soon, Tommy comes running back in
and says that he has found his mother's sponge. "What do you
mean you found my sponge? Where?"
"The lady next door has it and she's washing Daddy's face with
it!"
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| Posted by EMMI E. COOL on 14-Aug-2005 | little old ladyA little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have
this
problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My
farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact,
I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your
office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell
and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see
me next week."
The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't
know
what the heck you gave me, but now my farts...although still
silent...stink
terribly.
"The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your
sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
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