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| Posted by Thomas Flask on 14-Aug-2005 | Creation of ManWhy did God create men?
Because you can't teach an electric vibrator to mow the lawn.
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| Posted by Karla Beals on 14-Aug-2005 | Men's answers to women's questions1. No we can't be friends, I just want you for sex.
2. The dress doesn't make you look fat, its all that fucking ice cream and
chocolate you eat that makes you look fat.
3. You've got no chance of me calling you.
4. No, I won't be gentle.
5. Of course you have to swallow.
6. Well yes actually, I do this all the time.
7. I hate your fucking friends.
8. I have every intention of using you, and no intention of speaking to
you after tonight.
9. I'd rather watch a porno.
10. Eat it??? It took me ten pints to get up the courage to fuck it.
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| Posted by Gary Jensen on 14-Aug-2005 | The 3 Wonders of a Woman1. They can give milk from their boobs.
2. They can bleed for five days straight without dying.
3. They can bury a 9 inch bone without even getting their nose dirty.
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| Posted by Joanne Massoud on 14-Aug-2005 | UFO vs. Intelligent ManWhat does a UFO and an intelligent man have in common?
I don't know, I have never seen either of them!
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| Posted by Pink Mist on 14-Aug-2005 | Gay PicnicHow do you know if your at a gay picnic?
The hot dogs taste like shit.
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| Posted by K S on 14-Aug-2005 | Funny Quotes I've Collected*Here are some funny quotes I've collected over the school
year... Enjoy!*
"If they call it 'tourist season', why can't you shoot 'em?"
"Little people bite my toes after I go to sleep."
"DISCOURAGE INBREEDING...BAN COUNTRY MUSIC!"
"Go to people's funerals, or they won't go to yours."
"This ain't fucking Disneyland-I don't have to be nice!"
"Happiness is like peeing in your pants... everyone can see it,
but only you can feel its warmth."
"Life is like a dick... When it gets hard, fuck it!"
"West to the sea, East to the land, death to the bitch who
touches my man!"
"You keyhole-squiggin' motha fucker!"
"Single women can't fart... they don't have an asshole until
they're married."
"If a poke is a jab, and an ass is a donkey, then why is a poke
in the ass a goose?"
"Women do not sweat, burp, or fart. Therefore, if we do not
bitch, we will blow up."
"All I need to know about life I learned by killing smart people
and eating their brains."
"Moo... I am the taco cow... hear me roar!"
"What if, instead of hearts, chickens were the universal symbol
of love? Then, on Valentine's Day, would we walk up to people
and say 'I love you with all my chicken'?"
One a tombstone: "I told you I was sick!"
"Join the Army! Travel to exotic places, distant lands. Meet
exciting people, then kill them!"
"The quickest way to a man's heart is not through his stomach,
but through his chest, with an axe."
"The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an
oncoming train."
"Blow your mind- smoke gunpowder."
"I have a fear of clowns. I think it goes back to the time when
I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad."
"I want to be like Barbie. That bitch has everything."
"What if the hokey-pokey really was what it's all about?"
"I have P.M.S. and a gun. Excuse me, did you want something?"
"MENtal breakdown. MENstruation. MENopause. MENstrual cramps.
Ever notice how all these problems start with 'MEN'?"
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