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| Posted by Piper_85 on 09-Aug-2005 | CreditA man walks into a house of ill repute in Reno and says, "I'll give $20,000 to any woman here who'll come into the desert with me and do it MY way."
One of the ladies agrees, and off they go driving into the desert.
After about an hour she gets curious, and asks him, "Just what is your way?"
"On credit."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by janaki on 09-Aug-2005 | Moon RiverTwo teenagers wander off to the bushes during a softball game on the outskirts of town and start necking.
After a while the boy stops.
"You know we've been doing this for a few weeks now and I think it's time we went all the way." he pleads.
"Well, maybe," she says, "but I'm a virgin and I heard it hurts. Besides all those people at the field may hear us."
The boy stops and says, "Hmmm, well then if it hurts, start making cow sounds, and I'll stop. But if it feels good start singing. That way no one will ever guess what we're really doing."
The girl agrees so they quickly take off their clothes and get down to business.
Ten minutes later people watching the game hear sounds echoing through the quiet countryside so loudly that the teams stop playing.
"Moooo ..... Moooooo ...... Moooooooon River .......!"
Submitted by Calamjo
EDited by Curtis
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| Posted by Joshua Bosanuqet on 09-Aug-2005 | WagerA deaf mute walks into a pharmacy to buy some condoms.
He has difficulty communicating with the pharmacist and cannot see the condoms on the shelf. Frustrated, he finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter and puts down a five dollar bill next to it.
The pharmacist looks at it, smacks down another five dollars, unzips his pants, lays his penis across from the deaf mute's member, then picks up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket.
Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language.
"Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing
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| Posted by Haydogg, Wooder on 09-Aug-2005 | Dad is richAn eighteen-year-old girl tells her mom that she has missed her period for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house, a mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them, "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge.
If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You'll try again!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by jINX on 09-Aug-2005 | Harassment?Do you know what sexual harassment is?
It's when a man talks dirty to a woman.
What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
$3.99 a minute.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by Karkas on 09-Aug-2005 | GolfTwo women were playing golf one sunny morning.
The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly towards a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch and fell to the ground where he proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed over to the man and began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me."
"Ummph, oooh, nooo, I'll be alright...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at the crotch.
But she persisted and he finally allowed her to help him.
She gently took his hands away and loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She began to massage him.
She then asked him, "How does that feel now?"
The man replied, "That feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
Submitted by YBootyfull
Edited by Curtis
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