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| Posted by dodo zhang on 09-Aug-2005 | Curly Pubic HairWhy is pubic hair curly?
So you don't poke your eyes out!
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| Posted by jc spencer on 09-Aug-2005 | Six Foot C#@TBob was driving home after a day at the construction site; over the Golden Gate Bridge at about 90mph.
Wouldn't you know a cop jumped out and clocked him with radar. Bob pulled over like a good citizen; recalling Rodney King and recent illegal alien incidents.
The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were going BOY?" Ignoring Bob, the officer continued, in his normal charming fashion, "That's speeding and your getting a ticket and a fine!"
The cop took a good look at the young bob and said, "You don't even look like you have a job! Why I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!"
Bob said, "I've got a job! I have a good, well paying job!"
The cop leaned in the window, and with the smell of day old donuts on his breath, said, "What kind of a job would a bum like you have?"
"I'm a cunt stretcher," replied Bob.
"What you say, BOY?!!" asked the patrolman. "A cunt stretcher."
Of course the cop asked, "What's a cunt stretcher do?"
Bob explained, "Girls call me up and say they want to be stretched so I go over there and start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, and then one whole hand, then two. Then I pull them farther and farther apart until it's six feet across."
The cop, absorbed with the images in his mind, let down his guard and asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot cunt?"
Bob nonchalantly commented, "You give it a radar gun and stick it at the end of a bridge!"
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| Posted by Jocky on 09-Aug-2005 | Buying CondomsThe first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, I was waited on by a beautiful young woman. She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn't sure. So she asked now big I was and I said, "Compared to what?"
She held up one finger and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that."
Then she held up two fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that."
Then she held up three fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm about that big."
She put the three fingers in her mouth and said, "You're a medium."
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| Posted by Amy Joan on 09-Aug-2005 | Horny Young ManA horny young man went to a brothel...The lady at the counter asked him what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available.
Madam, "On the first floor, we have the ex-models... they are all slinky and sexy... On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses...they are all buxom and beautiful... On the third floor, we have our ex-teachers....they..."
Man, "Say no more! Lead me to the third floor."
Madam, "Are you sure... I'm surprised that you would prefer ex-teachers to ex-models and ex-actresses."
Man, "It's obvious, ma'am, teachers always make you do a thing over and over again, until you're perfect at it."
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| Posted by wylie on 09-Aug-2005 | Texas BJBack in the good ole days in Texas, when stagecoaches and the like were popular, there were three people in a stagecoach one day: a true red-blooded born-and-raised Texas gentleman, a tenderfoot city-slicker from back East, and a beautiful and well-endowed Texas lady.
The city-slicker kept eyeing the lady, and finally he leaned forward and said, "Lady, I'll give you $10 for a blow job."
The Texas gentleman looked appalled, pulled out his pistol, and killed the city slicker on the spot.
The lady gasped and said, "Thank you, suh, for defendin' mah honor!"
Whereupon the Texan holstered his gun and said, "Your honor, hell! No tenderfoot from back east is gonna raise the price of a woman in Texas!"
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| Posted by Stephen Baird on 09-Aug-2005 | Magic CreamA man had a problem, there was a red ring around his dick. He was really worried so he went to the doctor.
The doctor took a good look at it and then after awhile of uming and ering, he said "Well apply this on it and then come and see me in a few days."
The man was a bit relieved but was still worried about what would happen to his pride and joy. So that night before bed he applied the cream.
Sure enough by the morning the ring had disappeared. He was so happy he went straight to the doctors to tell him the good news.
He showed the doctor the ring was gone and the doctor was pleased.
The man asked him what the cream was.
The doctor replied, "Just lipstick remover."
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