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| Posted by Andy N. Arena on 09-Aug-2005 | CurtainsWhat is the difference between a hooker, a lover and a housewife?
A hooker says, "Faster, faster."
A lover says, "Slower, slower."
A housewife says, "Curtains...I think I need new curtains!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by Jennifer L. Miller on 09-Aug-2005 | FudgeWhy don't you see any women in the Keebler elf tree?
Because they are all fudge packers!
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by bob d. mackland on 09-Aug-2005 | Oh no!Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says, "I hear that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!"
"Oh no, I've just been saying that your new hairdo makes you look less attractive."
"I also heard that you've been calling me fat!"
"Oh no, I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes you look larger than you really are."
"I've also heard that you're saying that my husband has a wart on his dick!"
"Oh no, I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his dick!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by Phillip D. Tomblin on 09-Aug-2005 | Hot sauceThree guys were challenged by a girl who said, "Whoever can make me scream the most gets $100."
The white guy goes in and comes back out in a half hour and says, "Damn! I just couldn't make her scream."
The black guy goes in for an hour but comes out saying, "Man, it's just not possible!"
Finally the Chinese guy goes in with a smile on his face.
He returns after 10 minutes and forty screams.
Both the other guys ask, "How in hell did you do that?"
"Me play old trick," he says. "Me put hot sauce on my poker!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by Alfredo Guzman on 09-Aug-2005 | 5 minutesWhy do men like frozen microwave dinners so much?
They like being able to eat and make love in under 5 minutes.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by Niko Tsocanos on 09-Aug-2005 | ExpertA handsome construction worker considered himself quite a stud, and indeed had no trouble persuading a good-looking recent acquaintance to come back to his apartment.
After making love to her, he rolled over and lit a cigarette.
His self-satisfied smile vanished, however, when the woman hopped out of bed and snapped, "You may look like Mel Gibson, but you're lousy in the sack."
The indignant fellow snapped, "I don't see what makes you such an expert after only forty-five seconds!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
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