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| Posted by Robert L. Gianferante on 10-Aug-2005 | Dad she is huge.One day a father and his five year old son went to the bank to cash a check.
There was a few people in front of them waiting for the bank teller. The lady
in front of them was a rather large well dressed business lady.
The kid could not help but notice her size. "Dad looks at her! She is so
huge!"
The father replied, "Be quiet! You must be polite and don't hurt her
feelings."
The kid persisted, "But dad she must weigh as much as a truck!"
The father, rather embarrassed, said, "Stop it or I'll take you outside!"
Just about then the ladies pager goes off ... "beep... beep... beep..."
The kid screams "Dad look out! She's backing up!"
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| Posted by kimberly on 10-Aug-2005 | QuitsWhen a women found out that she was pregnant,
she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news.
One day, she took her 4 year old son,Sam,out shopping.
A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby.
??? Yes", he said.??? I know what we're going to name it.
If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a
boy, we're going to call it quits.
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| Posted by sly guy on 10-Aug-2005 | PMSWhy do women call it PMS?
Because mad cow disease was already taken!
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| Posted by Nick G. Davis on 10-Aug-2005 | CuredA woman went to her doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors,
but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and
ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained.
He had her sit down and relaxes in another room.
The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter
with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven
grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard.
"Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"
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| Posted by Tar on 10-Aug-2005 | Tip offHe was standing in line at a restaurant, waiting to pay my bill behind two
women who handed the young waitress a credit card. After swiping the card, she
loudly called out to her manager, "Mr. Allen, what do I do if it says
'rejected'?"
As the women's faces reddened and customers turned to look, Mr.
Allen walked out from the kitchen. "Well," he answered, wiping his hands, "the
first thing you do is shout it out loud enough to embarrass the customer, who
might have been thinking of leaving you a tip."
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| Posted by Jaiva on 10-Aug-2005 | Vacation plansBilly Bob and Vern talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Vern, "Yaw know,
I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm going to do it a
little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go and
all."
??? Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and
Pauline got pregnant.
??? Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Pauline got
pregnant again.
??? Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Pauline didn't get pregnant
again."
Vern asks Billy Bob, "So, what you going to do this year that's
different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Pauline with me."
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