|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Mafia on 09-Aug-2005 | Dash From HospitalA doctor is standing in the hall of a hospital talking with a colleague when suddenly one of his patients runs down the hall in his hospital gown screaming at the top of his lungs.
Right behind the patient is a nurse carrying a pan of steaming, boiling-hot water, obviously chasing the patient.
The doctor interrupts his conversation with his colleague and shouts to the chasing nurse, "Miss Jones, I said 'Prick his boil!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Jezz on 09-Aug-2005 | Tampax For Brother?Two boys show up at the local drugstore.
One is 12 years old and the other is 6. The older boy orders some Tampax for his little brother.
"You must be a little mixed up," the clerk says, "don't you want it for your mother?"
The kid keeps insisting he wants it for his brother and says, "I saw on TV if you wear Tampax you can ride a bicycle and go swimming...he can't do any of those things now."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by REM on 09-Aug-2005 | Human StatueA woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry!" she said, "Stand in the corner."
She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly.
"The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."
No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.
Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Russell Kline on 09-Aug-2005 | Rooster ReplacementA man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster.
Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a cloud of feathers.
Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse, rang the door bell.
A farmer appeared. The man, somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him."
"Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "you can go join the other chickens that are around the back."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Spanky C. Sneed on 09-Aug-2005 | Dirty SantaA young girl sat on Santa's knee. He said, "What would you like for Christmas, little girl?"
"Some hairs on my pee-pee place," she replied.
"Do you mind if they're white ones?" asked Santa....
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by 2COOL on 09-Aug-2005 | Shame & GloryA woman walks into a bar and orders two shots. She downs the first one, "This is for the shame," and then the second one," This is for the glory."
She then orders two more shots. She drinks the first one, "This is for the shame," and then the second one, "This is for the glory."
She is about to order two more shots when the bartender stops her, "Ma'am, I was just wondering...what's this about shame and glory?"
"Well," she replies, "I like to do my housework naked. But when I bent over to pick something up, my great dane mounted me from behind."
"That must be the shame," the bartender said.
"No, that was the glory. The shame is when we got locked up and he dragged me around the front yard for thirty minutes."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
