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| Posted by Wookie M. Geiger on 10-Aug-2005 | DATE NIGHTThis guy has four daughters who all live at home. One Friday night the
doorbell rings. The guy answers it and a kid standing there says, "Hi, I'm
Freddy. I'm here to pick up Betty. We're gonna go eat spaghetti. Is she ready?"
The man, mildly amused calls down his daughter and the two leave.
A few minutes later the doorbell rings again and he answers. A kid standing
there says, "Hi, I'm Jim. I'm here to see Kim. We're gonna go for a swim. Can I
come in?"
The guy, now perplexed, says, "Yes," and the two take off.
A few minutes later the doorbell rings and again the father answers. A kid
standing there says, "Hi, I'm Joe. I'm here to pick up Flo. We're gonna go to
the show. Can she go?"
The man, now kind of annoyed, says, "Yes." The two depart.
Sure enough, a few minutes later the door rings and the father answers. A kid
standing there says, "Hi, I'm Chuck...???
The father shot him.
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| Posted by Arf on 10-Aug-2005 | REALITYA teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his
father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and
reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "Let's make a
demonstration out of this. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert
Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with
Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've
learned."
The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what
his father means. He asks his mother,???Mom, if someone gave you a million
dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?" His mother looks around slyly,
and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but,
yes, I would."
Then he goes to his sister??™s room and asks her, "Sis, if someone gave you a
million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His sister looks up and says,
"Definitely!"
The kid goes back to his father and says, "Dad, I think I've
figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in
reality, we're living with a couple of whores."
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| Posted by Shelly Mclaughlin on 10-Aug-2005 | Full of butterA man left for a business trip. As he had long suspected his wife in being
unfaithful to him, he placed under their conjugal bed a jar with sour cream and
hung a spoon above the jar. If one person rested on the bed, the spoon would not
touch the cream, but with two bodies in bed, the spoon would be marked with
cream. Having checked the device and confident that it worked reliably, the man
left for his trip. In a week he came home, and his wife joyfully kissed and
embraced him. "Just wait," the man thought. "I'll now find out how you
behaved."
He fetched the jar from under the bed and found the jar was full of
butter.
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| Posted by Judge Fu on 10-Aug-2005 | Fishing tripEarly in the morning, a man set out for a fishing trip. Before he left his
wife said, "Stay home. It's raining out there, and windy."
The husband did not answer, and walked out. When he was in the street,
downpour and strong wind make him shudder. He walked a couple of blocks, but
then decided the weather was too bad indeed, so he turned back. He walked into
his apartment, undressed and dove into the bed.
"What a dog's weather," he said, still shuddering.
"Yes," the wife said. "Such weather and my idiot left for a fishing trip."
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| Posted by Jeremy Penner on 10-Aug-2005 | One hundredOn a train, a Georgian is traveling with his wife. In the same compartment
travel two physicians. Hour after hour, the wife is nagging her husband, not
letting him to say a word in response. Then she leaves the compartment for the
restroom. The physicians say,"Listen, Vano. We sympathize with you. How can you
stand such a viper of a woman? We'll give you a telephone in Tbilisi, for mere
two hundred rubles they perform a surgery on her brain, and she will become
gentle and agreeable.
"What for?" Vano answers calmly. "I'm taking her to Kutaisi; there they
promised to finish her off just for one hundred."
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| Posted by madcat cw on 10-Aug-2005 | Indeed jackets darlingA man came home earlier than usual, when his wife's lover was still in the
apartment. She hid the lover in a closet, and served dinner. As they ate,
something rustled in the closet.
"What's that?" the husband asked.
"Nothing, darling. Just jackets."
After a while, they again heard some noise in the closet.
"What the hell is that?"
"I'm telling you, just jackets."
A few minutes later, the noise sounded once more.
"I'll check it," the husband said. "You'll regret it if it's not jackets."
The husband yanked the closet's door open. Inside, he saw a man who held a
pistol. The husband quietly closed the door, and said, "Indeed, jackets,
darling."
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