|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Alex Martynov on 09-Aug-2005 | Date WithThere was a guy named Bill and his girlfriend Jane. Bill broke up with Jane afraid she was cheating on him.
Ironically it was the day before the big costume party (couples only).
Thinking fast, Bill paid a prostitute to go with him. Since it was a costume party he couldn't see her face.
He took her to his place and they started to take off their costumes.
They got in bed and the prostitute took off her mask and it was....................
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
HIS MOM!
Who did you think it was? Jane?
Submitted by Lol_Girl_72
Editted by Curtis
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Gillian Jones on 09-Aug-2005 | TiltOne evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to the local nursing home in Dublin and leaves her as planned, hoping she will be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast including All Bran and some toast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seemed ok, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.
Again she seems ok, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.
Later on the family arrives to see how yer ol' wan is adjusting to her new home.
"So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.
"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except them feckers won't let me fart."
Submitted by Calamjo
Editted by Tantilazing
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Aaron R. Whittington on 09-Aug-2005 | CobblesTwo nuns were riding their bikes along a cobbled street.
One turned to the other and said,"I've never come this way before!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing and Curtis
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Kaero on 09-Aug-2005 | Stupid NamesThis lady likes to name things, so she buys a house. She can't decide what to name it, so she goes to the park and decides that the first thing she hears she is going to name her house.
This guy comes up to her and says "I bet I have a hairier butt than you."
So she named her house 'harry butt'.
A few weeks later she met this guy, and had a baby with him.
She couldn't decide what to name the baby so she decided that she would go to the park, and the first word she heard she would name her baby.
So when she was at the park this guy came up and said "Wow, look at the huge crack in the ground."
So she named her baby 'crack'.
The day her baby got lost in the house, and she went to call the police and said, "I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my crack."
Edited by calamjo and curtis
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Mark A. O'Neill on 09-Aug-2005 | Paper bagA paper bag goes to see his doctor to get his test results.
The doctor says "Well, I'm afraid its bad news. You are HIV positive".
The bag can't believe it. "How can I possibly be? I'm a paper bag".
The doctor says "Have you ever had unprotected sex?"
The bag replies "No, of course not. I'm a paper bag".
"Well, have you ever shared a needle?" continues the doc.
"Of course not", says the bag.
"Well" the doctor continues, "are you hemophilic?"
"No, don't be daft, I'm a paper bag" says the patient.
"Well, there's only one explanation" says the doctor "Your mother must be a carrier"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by curtis, Christine and Tantilazing
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Gothic Bitch on 09-Aug-2005 | Kids at ChristmasIt??™s the day after Christmas and two kids are comparing notes about what they got.
The first kid says, "What??™d you get?"
The second kid replies, "Man, I made out! I got Pokemon stuff, Nintendo, a stereo, a bike and a whole lot more! What??™d you get?"
"Oh, I just got a baseball glove and a bat," says the first kid.
"Wow, that??™s pretty rough," says the second kid.
"Yeah, well, I??™m not dying of cancer."
Submitted by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤
Edited by Tantilazing
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
