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():battle of sexes (734): Dating Guilt


Posted by French Fry Sweetie on 13-Aug-2005

Dating Guilt

Sheri, the pert and pretty nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up having sex with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."

"NO!!!" exclaimed the nurse. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward!"


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Asking her a question


Posted by Karlina Fierling on 13-Aug-2005

Asking her a question

A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"

The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"

"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."


   

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():battle of sexes (734): PMS "Humor"


Posted by gilbert on 13-Aug-2005

PMS "Humor"

How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE!!

And do you know WHY it only takes ONE?

Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb.

They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this

house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT.

And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the

light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD

for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS!

But if they did, by some miracle, find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the

chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the

STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!

AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID

#)&*!@!! LIGHT BULBS CAME IN.

WHY???

BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!!

IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM GARBAGE THROUGHOUT

THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO

CLEAN THIS HOUSE!!!

~~
Personally it sounds like domestic abuse to me, but, hey, I just post them... --Editor


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Secretary Helping Out


Posted by ALISHA CALLOWAY on 13-Aug-2005

Secretary Helping Out

Mr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and very polite.

One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. When leaving the room, she said, "Mr. Johnson, your barracks door is open."

He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his secretary. Calling her in, he asked, "By the way Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door was open this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention?"

The secretary, who was quite witty replied, "Why no sir, all I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Packin' My Bags


Posted by Luk Van Remoortel on 13-Aug-2005
Packin' My Bags
"I finally did it!" the one guy says to the other at the bar, "I packed my bags, and left my wife!"

"Wow," says the other, "What did your wife do?"

"She helped me pack..."


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Top 10 reasons COMPUTERS must be male


Posted by Steve Mopina on 13-Aug-2005
Top 10 reasons COMPUTERS must be male
10. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on, but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter.


   

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