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| Posted by A M on 12-Aug-2005 | Dating Young WomenA single man in his 40's often has a problem finding women at his level of maturity. That's why he dates someone half his age.
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| Posted by Stephanie J. Gladue on 12-Aug-2005 | Translating MenspeakWhen He Says - He Really Means
------------ - ----------------
Do you have the time? - to go to bed
Hello - Let's cut the talk and go have sex.
How are you? - in bed, I mean.
I'd like a discreet relationship. - I want sex, but I'm married.
I'll be out of town for a few days. - I'll be spending time with with the wife.
I'm a novelist. - I have 10 unpublished books.
I'm coming off a long relationship. - My wife is divorcing me.
I'm consulting. - I'm looking for a job.
I'm divorced. - I just slipped off my wedding ring.
I'm in television. - I fix them.
I'm involved in banking. - I'm a bank guard.
I'm self-employed. - I just got fired.
I'm sorry I flirted with your sister. - I'm sorry I got caught.
I'm thinking of relocating. - I can't find a job locally in this town.
I can't leave my wife just yet..soon. - Be patient forever.
I enjoy reading. - Playboy and Penthouse.
I have the Midas touch. - I install mufflers.
I like a woman who is intelligent. - As long as she acts like I'm smarter.
I love opera. - I want sex, but I've seen an opera once.
I play the market. - Safeway
I work high up in an executive office. - I'm a window washer.
I work with computers. - I'm a cashier at a gas station.
Looking for a satisfying relationship. - I want sex.
My business is really hot right now! - I hand out towels in a steam room.
My job keeps me running. - I'm a messenger.
My wife and I are separated. - She's at home and I'm here at the bar.
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| Posted by Dr.16 on 12-Aug-2005 | Man Is Like An AutomobileMan is like an automobile. As it gets older, the differential starts slipping, and the U-joints get worn, causing the drive shaft to go bad. The transmission won't go into high gear and sometimes has difficulty getting out of low. The cylinders get worn and lose compression, making it hard to climb the slightest incline.
When it is climbing, the tappets clatter and ping to the point where one wonders if the old bus will make it to the top. The carburetor gets fouled with pollutants and other matter, making it hard to get started in the morning.
It is hard to keep the radiator filled because of the leaking hose. The thermostat goes out, making it difficult to reach operating temperature. The headlights grow dim, and the battery need constant recharging.
But if the body looks good, we can keep it washed and polished, giving the impression it can compete with newer models and make one more trip down the primrose lane before the head gasket blows. Gentlemen, start your engines.
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| Posted by The Gekko on 12-Aug-2005 | Real Man Knows When She OrgasmsHow does a real man know whenever his girlfriend is having an orgasm?
A real man doesn't care.
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| Posted by Rob p on 12-Aug-2005 | Problems and Male GenderEver notice how so many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender?
MENstruation, MENopause, MENtal breakdown, GUYnecology, HIMmorrhoids...
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| Posted by john on 12-Aug-2005 | Paradox of MenIf you can't go down on them, you're not a good partner.
If you can go down on them, they are jeolous that someone taught you how.
If they pay for dinner, you are using them.
If you pay for dinner, you are trying to embarrass them.
If you make less money than them, you have to do all of the housework.
If you make more money than them, you are a ball-breaker and still have to do all of the housework.
If they want sex, they won't let you sleep.
If you want sex, they won't wake up.
If you choose an article of clothing that they don't like, you don't care about their taste.
If you ask them for help in choosing an article of clothing they do like, they tell you to dress however you want.
If you are polite and friendly to their friends, they want to know why you are coming on to their friends.
If you are distant and reserved to their friends, they want to know why you don't like their friends.
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