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| Posted by TigerFly on 10-Aug-2005 | Daugter with her vibratorAs a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange
buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter
giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, "What in the
world are you doing?"
The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this
thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave
me alone."
The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side
of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter
making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing,
the daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is
about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me
alone."
A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the
groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of
all places, the family room. She entered that area and observed her husband
sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the
couch, buzzing like crazy.
The wife asked, "What the hell are you doing?"
The husband replied, "I'm watching the ball game with my son-in-law???.
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| Posted by amanda on 10-Aug-2005 | An Indian boyAn Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. "Say
Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm"?
"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm", she said.
Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower"?
"Well your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her", she replied. He
then asked "And why is my other sister called Moonchild"?
"We were watching the moon-landing when she was conceived", the mother
replies.
The mother paused and said to her son... "Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so
curious"
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| Posted by death_tortiose on 10-Aug-2005 | A teenage girlA teenage girl came home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what
Rita just told me?"
"What's that?" asks her mother.
"That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said
her daughter.
"Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally
come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager???, won??™t it knock my
teeth out?"
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():love jokes (2491): A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll |
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| Posted by Ally1 on 10-Aug-2005 | A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie dollA man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. "How much is
that Barbie in the window???, he asks the shop assistant.
In a manner she responds, "Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for
$19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95,
Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and
Divorced Barbie for $395.00. "
The guy asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others?
??? That's obvious," the assistant states, "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's
house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture... "
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| Posted by swarm on 10-Aug-2005 | A husband and wifeA couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede
their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked,
"relatives of yours?"
"Yep???, the husband replied, "In-laws???.
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| Posted by Joe B. Bob on 10-Aug-2005 | An elderly man in PhoenixAn elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin
your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing,
forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call
your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck
they're getting divorced," she shouts???, I??™ll take care of this." She calls
Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced.
Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and
we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and
hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says,
"They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares now what do we tell
them for Christmas.
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