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| Posted by Sarah Northington on 10-Aug-2005 | Dead HusbandQ. How can you tell if your husband is dead?
A. The sex is the same, but you get the remote.
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| Posted by supachick on 10-Aug-2005 | Who's screwed now?Bill was chuckling at the bar when his friend Mike joined him. "Women, they
think they're so smart," he said with a sly smile, going on to explain that he'd
eavesdropped on a phone conversation between his fiancee, Lynn and her best
friend. "Amy," she said, "Bill doesn't know it yet, but the only time I'm
putting out is when I want to get pregnant."
At this, Bill doubled over with laughter, and Mike looked at his friend with
some consternation, "I'd be mad as a hatter! Why aren't you?" he asked.
"Why get mad?" answered Bill. "She'll never know I've had a vasectomy!"
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| Posted by Gary E. Suter on 10-Aug-2005 | Identity CrisisLate one night at the insane asylum, an inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another one said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "God told me!" A
voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"
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| Posted by The king of hitz on 10-Aug-2005 | That time of the monthOne night, a guy walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink. Then
he asked for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender got worried.
"What's the matter?" the bartender asked. "My wife and I got into a fight,"
explained the guy, "and she vowed not to talk to me for 31 days . . .??? He took
another drink, and said, ???And tonight is the last night."
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| Posted by Erik Ingbritsen on 10-Aug-2005 | BirdyThere was a man sun bathing on a beach naked. A girl came along and pointed to
his dingly dangly and asked, "what is that?" He replied, "It's my bird!"
She ran away to play in the sand cheerfully. The man fell asleep. zZzZzZz.
Later he woke up in hospital with pain around his groin. He did not know what
had gone wrong. He thought back maybe the girl might know, so once he was out of
the hospital he asked her.
She replied, "I played with the bird and it spat at me so I cracked its neck,
broke its eggs, and burnt its nest."
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| Posted by THe LeFT BLiNKeR on 10-Aug-2005 | Which End Up?Yo mama so ugly, when she was in labor the doctor asked which end!
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