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| Posted by Silentrose on 09-Aug-2005 | Dear John LetterThis is the ultimate response to a Dear John letter.
Humor in the face of defeat.
A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted pictures of herself back.
So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girl friend with the following note:
"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by blueindiansquaw
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| Posted by Tra t. Hn on 09-Aug-2005 | The TrainA man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest.
She lies down on the bed... just then, and elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed.
Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more.
Again a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says he'll be right up.
The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true.
"Look... lie here on the bed -- you'll be thrown right to the floor!"
So he lies down next to the wife.
Just then the husband walks in. "What," he says, "are you doing here!?!"
The manager calmly replies, "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by J D on 09-Aug-2005 | He said she said...He Said...She Said:
He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear briefs, don't you?
He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
She said...Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.
He said... "This coffee isn't fit for a pig!"
She said..."No problem, I'll get you some that is."
She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.
He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She said...Well, you succeeded.
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Ninja Linda on 09-Aug-2005 | Who is better?These two guys go to a whorehouse.
The first guy goes in then comes out and says, "My wife is better."
The second guy goes in then comes out and says, "You know what? Your wife IS better."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
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| Posted by Boo on 09-Aug-2005 | Foul playSuspecting her husband of infidelity, the woman attempted to put an end to it by arousing his jealousy.
"What would you say if I told you that I've been sleeping with your best friend?" she asked provocatively.
"Well," he mused, "I'd have to say that you're a lesbian!"
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Daisysox on 09-Aug-2005 | SwimWhat do you do if an elephant comes in your window?
Swim!
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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