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():battle of sexes (734): Dear John


Posted by Doran m. Langley on 13-Aug-2005

Dear John

A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her while stationed in Saudi Arabia. So she sends him a very special care package. He is very excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favorite TV shows.

He invites a couple of his buddies over and they're all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies and watching some episodes of South Park.

Right in the middle of one episode the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees giving his best friend oral sex.

After a few seconds, he does his business in her mouth and she turns and spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough. She then looks at the camera and says, "By the way, I want a divorce."

Now that's a Dear John letter...


   

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():battle of sexes (734): His last request


Posted by Brian Cannon on 13-Aug-2005

His last request

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

She says, "Aye, that he did, Father...

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

She says, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that dang gun...'"


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Losing it all


Posted by Chris W. Hoover on 13-Aug-2005

Losing it all

"I had it all; money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!"

"What happened?" asked the friend.

"My wife found out..."


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Grandpa doesn't fly


Posted by symmerhaze on 13-Aug-2005

Grandpa doesn't fly

One night, an 87 year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th-floor apartment, killing him instantly.

When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in defense of herself. Well, Your Honor, she began coolly. I figured that at 92, if he could fuck, he could fly!


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Men and Parking Spaces


Posted by Kelli on 13-Aug-2005
Men and Parking Spaces
What do men and parking spaces have in common?

The good ones are always taken the free ones are always handicapped or extremly small.


   

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():battle of sexes (734): Jockeying for Position


Posted by Erica A. Crossfield on 13-Aug-2005
Jockeying for Position
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: 'I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine.'

His second friend says: 'I think my wife is having an affair with the plummer the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine.'

Paddy says: 'I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.' Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. 'No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.'


   

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