|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Coley T. Dyaps on 14-Aug-2005 | Dearest, My love....Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host,
preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey,
My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.
Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice. After all
these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those
pet names."
Morris hung his head and whispered, "To tell you the truth, I forgot her
name three years ago."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by If Amblue on 14-Aug-2005 | Grandpa and kid fishin'This kid and his grandfather were going fishing one day and the
grand father pulls out a cigar. At this time in the morning the
bugs were really biting and so the kid asked his grandfather if
he could have one. His garndfathers said, "Can you touch your
ass with your dick?" The kid replied, "no." "Then no you can't",
said the grandfather.
A little bit later in the day about noon Old Grandad pulls out a
nice cold beer. This afternoon was particularly hot so the kid
said, "hey grandad can I have one of those to cool me off?" "Can
you touch your ass with your dick son?", the grandad replied
"No", says the kid. "Then sorry but no", says the grandad.
After they finish fishing they stop at sheetz and ol' grandad
buys some smokes and two lottery tickets. The kid asks, "Grandad
can I have one of those lottery tickets?" Grandad replies, "Sure
couldn't hurt."
Grandad scratches off his lottery ticket and yells, "Son of...
goddamn waste of money... never win on these damn... ugh" The
kid schratches off his ticket and yells in excitement that he
won $10,000. Grandad says, "Thats great! $5,000 for you and
$5,000 for me!" Kid asked his grandfather if he could touch his
ass with his dick and the grand father replied, "Hell yeah!"
Then the kid answered, "Good! Then you can go fuck yourself!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Eric Mitchell on 14-Aug-2005 | The SpongeLittle Timmy was taking a shower with his mom. He turns around
and sees her pussy. Confused and a little scared he points and
asks "What is that?" A little startled, she quickly says "This
is my sponge."
Three days later mom is spring cleaning the house and askes
little Timmy if he has seen her sponge? Timmy says "Yeah, dad
has it next door at Miss Johnson's, and he is washing his face
with it."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Biz N. Ich on 14-Aug-2005 | Joe & BobJoe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob went
straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight
to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how
much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he
complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he
loved her.
Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised
that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he'd started this
about 6 months ago, it had revived their marriage and things couldn't be
better.
Bob thought he'd give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a
massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst
into tears.
Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, "This is the
worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted
his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And
now, you come home drunk!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by laugh16 on 14-Aug-2005 | We're Getting a DivorceA husband and wife have been arguing for several weeks and the
wife has finally decided that she wants a divorce. So when the
husband comes home she is all packed and ready to go out the
door. The husband takes one look at her and says, "Where do you
think your going?" The wife replys, "I'm leaving you and going
to Las Vegas to become a prostitute and earn $400 a blow job."
So the husband runs upstairs and comes back down with all his
bags packed. The wife looks at him and says, "Where do you think
your going?" "I'm going with you," The husband replys, "I want
to see you live on $800 a year!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Dexter on 14-Aug-2005 | Finger licking goodAt a resort club in France, a romantic Frenchman spots an American lady
tourist entering the dining section. He swiftly rushes to her assistance,
with his usual charm and his obviously attractive dialect, "Bonjour,
madamoiselle." "Bonjour!" She answers back, "Can you........?" and before
she could finish her sentence, the Frenchman interrupts to say, "Anysing,
yes I can, for you. Ma cherrie." He takes her hand, kisses her palm, licks
her fingers romantically and then continues saying, "Just as beautiful and
sweet as you are, your fingers are. What is this tasty lotion you use, ma
cherrie? And if I may ask, what is this you wanted to be assisted in?"
The lady (at that time very impressed) answered, "I've just been changing
my baby's diaper's, he has been suffering from serious diarrhea. So, I
just wanted to know where I could wash my hands."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
