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| Posted by C K on 09-Aug-2005 | Death by BoondahThere are three hunters in the woods. At the same time they all feel them self get shot in the ass with a dart.
When they woke up they are all bare ass with there butts in the air. There is a tribe around them bowing down and worshipping them saying
oooooooohhhhhhhhh ooooohhhhhhhh ooooooooohhhhhhh oooooohhhhhh.
The tribe goes silent and they all split. A chief walks between the crowd.
The chief goes up to the first guy and says "You have two choice death, or Boondah".
The man thinks in his head "Well i don't want to die so i guess
Boondah". So he tells the chief he wants Boondah.
So the chief turns around to the crowd and says "Boondah".
Immediately the tribe runs in and starts fucking the guy in the ass, all of them. This guy is out.
So the chief goes up to the second guy and says "You have two choice death or Boondah".
So the guy thinks for a second and says "Well at least ill live
to tell about it and you know maybe the tribe is tired so, Boondah".
So the chief turns around to the tribe and says "Boondah"
The tribe splits and a whole new tribe comes in and starts doing him in the ass and after they are done the first tribe comes and does the same. This guy is out, his ass cheeks are sagging he is just out of it.
Before the chief gets to the third guy, the man already knows that he wants to be killed.
So the chief comes up to him and says "You have two choice death or Boondah".
The man says "There is no way in hell your there pulling three tribes on me. I choose death, kill me now just get it over with".
So the chief turns around to the crowd and says "Death by Boondah".
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| Posted by Limp Biz on 09-Aug-2005 | Fancy Dress PartyAn older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, 'Going to a party ?'
'Yeah,' the man answered, 'I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life.'
'But you look like Abe Lincoln.' protested the barkeep.
'That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago.'
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| Posted by Hibba M. Nagrial on 09-Aug-2005 | Toast TherapyTommy is a young boy, just potty trained. When he goes to the bathroom though, Tommy manages to hit everything but the toilet. So his mom has to go in and clean up after him. After two weeks, she has had enough, and takes Tommy to the doctor.
After the examination, the doctor said, "His unit is too small. An old wives' tale is to give him two slices of toast each morning, and his unit will grow so he can hold it and aim straight."
The next morning Tommy jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to the kitchen. There on the table, are twelve slices of toast.
"Mom!" Tommy yells. "The doctor said I only had to eat two slices of toast."
"I know." said his mother. "The other ten are for your father."
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| Posted by Emily Eddy on 09-Aug-2005 | Lead In Your PencilThe two female teens were discussing a news article concerning gasoline fumes causing impotence in the male.
"Aren't you worried about Tommy's new job at the gas station?
Those fumes could cause him to lose the lead in his pencil."
"Doesn't matter." giggled the other girl. "He doesn't do all my writing anyway."
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| Posted by Judge Fu on 09-Aug-2005 | Multiple OrgasmsWhen God was creating the human race, he lined up all the males on one side and all the females opposite them.
Then God asked, "Which of your species would like to urinate standing up?"
Well, the males went crazy, screaming and shouting that they wanted to pee standing up.
"Fine," replied God. "Then THEY get the multiple orgasms."
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| Posted by Jake Russell on 09-Aug-2005 | Famous Sex Quotes"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
--Steve Martin
"You know that look women get when they want sex?
. . .Me neither."
--Drew Carey
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have
a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Unknown
"If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all."
--Rodney Dangerfield
"My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it
kind of hard for him to come out of the closet."
--Bill Kelly
"As the French say, there are three sexes-men, women
and clergymen." -- Rev. Sydney Smith
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date
on Saturday night."
--Woody Allen
"Homosexuality is God's way of insuring that the truly
gifted aren't burdened with children."
--Sam Austin
"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty."
--George Burns
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of
getting married."
--Matt Barry
"Leaving sex to the clergy is like letting your dog
vacation at the taxidermist."
--Camille Paglia
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--George Burns
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