|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Pat Mcgroyne on 14-Aug-2005 | Death-Bed An old man, who had lived a long a prosperous life, with
8 beautiful children and a loving and caring wife, is on his
death-bed, with his wife is right by his side. He says to her,
"Honey, I love you and all, but there's something that's been
bothering me for awhile. The last child that you had...he
doesn't look like the rest of the kids. Grant me one last wish
and tell me who the real father was."
The old woman looks him straight in the eye, and with a
honest tone says, "You."
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Alex A. Tarlescu on 10-Aug-2005 | 911911 Call: A man called 911 and spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the dispatcher asked.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouted.
"This is her husband!"
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Sean Wicklund on 11-Aug-2005 | I Want To Be WeighedThe young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park.
They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored.
"What would you like to do next?" he asked.
"I wanna be weighed," she said.
So the young man took her over to the weight guesser.
"One-twelve," said the man at the scale, and he was absolutely right.
Next they rode the roller coaster. After that, he bought her some popcorn and cotton candy, then he asked what else she would like to do.
"I wanna be weighed," she said.
I really latched onto a square one tonight, thought the young man, and using the excuse he had developed a headache, he took the girl home.
The girl's mother was surprised to see her home so early, and asked, "What's wrong, dear, didn't you have a nice time tonight?"
"Wousy," said the girl.
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Mike Carlino on 14-Aug-2005 | How to Choose a WifeThere is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one
to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each of them
spends it.
The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets
new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the
man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you
so much."
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a
television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought
these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles
her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She
says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love
you so much."
The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money,
and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.
|
2 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by BLitz on 14-Aug-2005 | The 3 VikingsOle, Larse, and Sven were sitting in a bar discussing their
wives. Larse started by saying, "I think my wife is fooling
around on me. I went home the other day and found a hammer and a
saw under our bed. I think she is screwing a carpenter."
Sven answered, "Ya, I think my wife is not faithful either. The
other day I went home and found a pipe wrench and some pipes
under my bed. I think she is screwing a plumber."
Ole then joins in and says, "Vel, if you think that is bad, I've
got one for ya. I vent home yesterday and found a cowboy under
my bed. I think that Lina is screwing a horse!"
|
2 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Bruce R. Wood on 14-Aug-2005 | DivorceA man and his wife are driving on the highway. Suddenly the wife
starts talking, "I want a divorce. I want the kids, the house,
the car, and the money." The man doesn't say a thing and drives
faster and faster. At top speed the women askes him, "What do
you want to have?" The man answers, "Nothing, I've got all I
need, 'cause I got the airbags!"
|
3 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
