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| Posted by Don S. Peterson on 09-Aug-2005 | Deep freezeA man walks into a drug store.
He walks up to the counter and asks for a box of condoms.
After paying, he takes the condoms and walks out the door.
A few blocks up the street the man walks into an ice cream shop.
He pulls out a condom and says to the waiter, "Could you fill this up with ice cream please?"
The waiter is rather surprised, but thinks that as long as the man pays, who cares what he gets the ice cream in.
So the waiter fills the condom with ice cream, and hands it back to the man.
His curiosity gets the better of him so he asks, "I'm curious to know why you want the ice cream in a condom, of all things!"
The man replies "Well, it's my wife??™s birthday today and all week she has been dropping hints about getting a deep freeze, and anything my wife wants, she's going to get!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by Blazin Shorty on 09-Aug-2005 | Advice for guysIf you ever want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep!
Submitted by Curtis
Edited yisman
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| Posted by Pretty Sammi on 09-Aug-2005 | HonorOne evening a husband comes home to his apartment very roughed up.
When his wife sees him she asks, "What happened to you?"
"I got into a fight with the apartment manager."
"Whatever for?"
"He said he had slept with every woman in the complex except one!"
The woman replied, "I bet it's that snooty Mrs. Gellar on the third floor."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing
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| Posted by Alejandra Murrietta on 09-Aug-2005 | That's impossible!An 80-year-old man is having his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling.
"I've never been better!" he replies. "I've got an 18-year-old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.
"So, he's in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appears in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the bear, and squeezes he handle. The bear drops dead in front of him."
"That's impossible! Someone else must have shot that bear."
"Exactly."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing and yisman
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| Posted by Jessica C on 09-Aug-2005 | Watch the wallA funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.
At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan.
They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!
She lives for ten more years, and then dies again.
Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.
As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, "Watch that wall!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo
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| Posted by Zach on 09-Aug-2005 | Choking my ducks!A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days.
An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds.
The old man decided to go and see if they were all right.
He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK.
"Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love."
The old man replied, "I thought so...would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window...they're choking my ducks!"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by yisman
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