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| Posted by Alex A. Tarlescu on 09-Aug-2005 | DEF ABUMBTHIS MAN AND WOMEN WERE SINE EACH OUTHER THE WOMAN SINED THE MAN IF YOU WONT TO HAVE SEX SQUES MY LEFT BREST ONCE IF NOT SQUES MY RIGHT BREST TWO TIMES THE MAN SINED THE WOMAN IF SHE WONT'S HAVE SEX TO SQUES HIS PINES ONCE IF YOU DON'T TO HAVE SEX SQUCES IT FIFTY TIMES
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| Posted by Alex Martin on 09-Aug-2005 | Missing Sex with ExA young man was dumped by his girlfriend and he was so upset he moved to the country where his uncle owned a sheep farm. One weekend, the uncle left the boy alone to attend the farm himself. Early the first morning, the boy walked up, craving sex. He had not had sex in so long, since his girlfriend broke up with him. While trying figure out a way to get rid of his erection, He walked out of the house and saw the sheep in the field. Suddenly, he got a wonderful idea and started to run down to the sheep, unbuttoning his pants as he went. Then, the sheep dog cut him off, growling and barking. The dog would not let him pass and get to the sheep. The boy gave up and went about his chores. The next day, the boy woke up and tried to sneak down to the sheep. But the dog once again would not let him get rid of them. Then, the third day, the boy heard someone screaming for help. He went down to the pond and saw a beautiful women drowning in the water. He dove in and saved her life. When she caught her breath, she told him, "you saved my life. To repay you, I'll do anything for you, anything at all."
So the boy thought for a second, noticing how beautiful the women was while thinking how horney he was. So, the man told her, "OK, if you're sure that you'll do anything...follow me."
He took her hand and lead her up to the farm. He took her hand, looked into her beautiful eyes and asked, "would you mind holding this dog for me?"
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| Posted by shane on 09-Aug-2005 | Sexual ProtectionA knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick so she proceeded to find herself a rich 73-year-old man, planning to love him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference.
The first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed. When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover a twelve-inch erection, and was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of noseplugs.
Fearing her plan had gone desperately amiss, she asked, "What are those for?"
The elderly gentleman replied, "There are two things I can't stand: the sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber!"
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| Posted by Laura Brown on 09-Aug-2005 | Marrital RulesOn their wedding night, the young bride went up to her new husband.
"Since we're married now, we can arrange our sex life like this: In the evening, if my hair is done, that means I don't want sex at all. If my hair is somewhat undone, that means I may or may not have sex. And if my hair is completely undone, that means I want sex."
"Okay sweetheart," the groom replied.
"Just make sure, when I come home, I usually have a drink. If I have only one drink, that means I don't want sex. If I have two drinks, I may or may not want sex. But if I have three drinks, your hair doesn't matter."
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| Posted by Nikki H on 09-Aug-2005 | Headache CureA husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache."
"Perfect" her husband said.
"I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository,... it's up to you!"
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| Posted by Chris Dutto on 09-Aug-2005 | Geriatric ViagraAn elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said "That's no problem. How many do you want?"
The man answered, "Just a few, maybe four, but cut each one in four pieces."
The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good."
The elderly gentleman said, "That's alright. I don't need them for sex anymore. I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't piss on my shoes."
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