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| Posted by CoCa_CoLa_13 on 14-Aug-2005 | Definition of a Male Chauvinist PigWhat's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.
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| Posted by matt a. conway on 14-Aug-2005 | Men's FightWhy is it that us men fight an kick for 9 months to get out of
women's pussy, and then once we get out, we try to get back in
the rest of our lives?!
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| Posted by thezaniak on 14-Aug-2005 | Making Snowman and SnowwomanWhy does it take longer to make a snowman than it does to make a snowwoman?
Because you gotta take the time to hollow out his head!
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| Posted by Kitty Devil on 14-Aug-2005 | I am WOMAN!I shave my legs, I sit down to pee.
And I can justify any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
Can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook, can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles at any cost,
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
I never forget an important date.
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch,
And just cause I'm assertive, don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!
Flowers are okay, but jewelry's best.
Would you look at my face, not at my chest!
I don't have a problem with Expressing my feelings,
I know when you're lying, you look at the ceiling .
Don't call me a girl, a babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN, get it, you prick?!
Now, you must forward this to 4 FEMALES or you will have a
HORRIBLE streak of bad love life. Not that I believe the above,
I just think you should forward this to 4 women so they can
laugh too!!!
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| Posted by Matt C. Messinger on 14-Aug-2005 | Girls You Might See In The RestroomSELFISH GIRL:
Enters alone and locks the door, saying to the girls following that she
will be out in a minute. Leisurely pees. Remarks, adjusts clothes and
poses before mirror, keeping others squirming outside for an hour.
TIMID GIRL:
Turns on faucet full force. Backs up to toilet, raises dress and squats
quickly. Listens intently to learn if sound other than faucet can be heard.
CONCEITED GIRL:
Approaches toilet with undulating movements. Raises dress by finger tips.
Expression while peeing indicates such a lovely creature should not be
compelled to attend to such lowly duties. Farts silently and disdainfully.
HARDY GIRL:
Raises dress with a whoop. Scuttles across the floor beating other
occupant to toilet. Squats with great force, rattling windows and causing
breasts to bob up and down, hums lively tune, peeing in squirts to keep
time, farts loudly and with great glee.
DRUNKEN GIRL:
Wobbles to toilet. After several attempts manages to raise dress. Squats
on toilet with shrieks of laughter. Pees for a while, singing happy songs,
suddenly starts to sob broken heartedly as she realizes that she forgot to
pull down her pants. Continues peeing and sobbing.
SLOPPY GIRL:
Slip drops into toilet while squatting, never uses toilet paper. Drags her
business across the seat, getting seat wet. Never flushes toilet. Emerges
with back of skirt caught in her pants.
WORRIED GIRL:
Squats thoughtfully, counting days overdue on fingers. Uses toilet paper
and examines it carefully and hopefully. Peers into toilet before
flushing, resolving never to go to bed tight again.
THE "I DON'T CARE" GIRL:
Just squats and fires away.
STUBBORN GIRL:
Believes all public places are contaminated. Stands three feet in front of
toilet, backs up, takes careful aim and fires away, always misses, but
will try again.
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| Posted by Kelsey D. Dowswell on 14-Aug-2005 | 10 Things that Men Will Never Say1. Let's watch Oprah!
2. Sex is overrated.
3. I want you to come first.
4. Yes, I did notice your sister's breasts are bigger than yours.
5. There is nothing I like better than crawling into bed with a
good book.
6. I'm glad I don't have a large penis.
7. My hips are too big.
8. Is ''Mad About You'' on tonight?
9. Does this suit make me look fat?
10. I'll never get tired listening to Celine Dion.
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