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| Posted by William C. Herbert on 09-Aug-2005 | Definition of loveWhat is the definition of "making love"?
Something a woman does while a guy is humping her.
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| Posted by marcie j. gomez on 09-Aug-2005 | Mrs JohnsonA man was sued by a woman for defamation of character.
She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.
After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true.
"Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.
The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."
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| Posted by Ali Walker on 09-Aug-2005 | One quart todayJon left for a two day business trip to Chicago.
He was only a few blocks away from his house when he realized he'd left his plane ticket on top of his dresser.
He turned around and headed back to the house. He quietly entered the door, walked into the kitchen.
He saw his wife washing the breakfast dishes, wearing her skimpiest negligee.
She looked so good that he tiptoed up behind her, reached out, and squeezed her left tit.
"Leave only one quart of milk," she said. "Jon won't be here for breakfast tomorrow."
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| Posted by Natalie -. Z on 09-Aug-2005 | New secretaryThe real-estate boss got a hot new secretary, and he decided to put some moves on her. But within a few weeks, he is feeling displeased at the way she is working, not caring, coming to work late, and so on.
Finally, he pulls her aside, and has a little talk with her. "Listen, baby, we may have gone to bed together a few times, but who said you could start coming in late and slacking off?"
The secretary's reply, "My lawyer!"
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| Posted by Target on 09-Aug-2005 | GrandpaGrandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park.
Johnny asked, "Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?"
Grandpa looks at him and says "No Johnny, I will not."
"But Grandpa, why?" asks little Johnny.
Grandpa replies. "Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one worth writing to."
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| Posted by Abby J. Parker on 09-Aug-2005 | Three sonsA wealthy old gentleman and his wife were celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary and their three grown sons joined them for dinner.
The old man was rather irritated when he discovered that none of the boys had bothered to bring a gift, and after the meal, he drew them aside.
"You're all grown men," he said, "and old enough to hear this. Your mother and I have never been legally married."
"What?" gasped one of the sons. "Do you mean to say we're all b%#tards?"
"Yes," snapped the old man, "and cheap ones, too!"
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