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| Posted by karli on 11-Aug-2005 | DefinitionsTHINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.
BUTT (but) n.
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
Male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every three minutes.
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| Posted by Trent Reeve on 11-Aug-2005 | DominationEverybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."
Said and done, the next time God looked the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.
God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
And the man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here"
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| Posted by dodo zhang on 11-Aug-2005 | Each Sex has its AcronymIf women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.
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| Posted by Aimeekat on 11-Aug-2005 | Euphemisms from the Classifieds"Women Seeking Men": WORD MEANING
Affectionate Possessive
Artistic Unreliable
Athletic Flat-Chested
Exotic beauty Would frighten a Martian
Free spirit Substance user
Fun Annoying
Loves animals Cat lady
New Age All body hair, all the time
Outgoing Loud
Spiritual Involved with a cult
Stable Boring
Wants Soulmate Stalker
"Men Seeking Women" WORD MEANING
Athletic Sits on the sofa and watches ESPN
Average looking Average hair growth on ears, nose and back
Educated Will always treat you like an idiot
Employed On management track at Radio Shack
Financially Secure I will spend so in return for which I to obey my every whim of your moral life.
Free Spirit Sleeps with your sister
Huggable Overweight, more body hair than Gentle Ben
Professional Owns a white button-down
Sensitive Needy
Stable Stalker, but never convicted
Thoughtful Says "please" when demanding a beer
Young at heart Pedophile
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| Posted by Alex Martin on 11-Aug-2005 | FaultsWomen have their faults.
Men have only two.
Everything they say and
everything they do.
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| Posted by Mr Female on 11-Aug-2005 | FAQs -- Men -- 1Why are men such jerks?
It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average lifespan of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormone modifies behavior. We're just misunderstood.
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Why do men always have to ogle at other women?
Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.
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Why do men always touch themselves, especially in public?
We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.
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Why do men always say such stupid things?
We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.
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Why are men so uncommunicative?
You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner.
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Why do men have to act like such retards?
Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of the world nowadays.
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Why can't men just share their feelings?
Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.
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Why can't men cuddle more (i.e. lie down and hug)?
Please... How many hours do you think there is in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the heck (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end? We men... Men hunters... Need go roam... Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeest... Now sitting on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other story.
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How can men sit on their asses all day without moving?
Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The figgidy types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etcetera. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.
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Why can't men just say "I love you?"
Men are taught from a tender young age to be self- sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own character faults.
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Why do men say "I love you" when they hardly know me?
Ho, Ho, Ho... Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.
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What does it mean when men say "I Love You?"
1 Pleas 2 I'm sorry for whatever i 3 I forgot to get you a gift; this 4 Huh? I'm sorry; I w 5 What did I forget? This should buy m 6 7 What do I have to do to get a beer around here?
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Why doesn't my partner ever answer me?
We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.
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