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| Posted by april pe on 09-Aug-2005 | Dentist AppointmentOne night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.
The wife turns over and says,
'I'm sorry honey, but I've got a gynecologist??™s appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'
The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
This time he whispers in her ear, 'Do you have a dentist's appointment tomorrow too?'
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| Posted by Dano Fiveo on 09-Aug-2005 | Turner BrownA small white guy goes into an elevator and the only other passenger is a huge black dude standing next to him.
The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says, '2.5 m tall, 130 kg, 40 cm dick, 1.5 kg left ball, 1.5 kg right ball, Turner Brown.'
The small white guy faints.
The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small white guy, 'What's wrong?'
The small white guy says, 'Excuse me, but what did you say?'
The big black dude looks down and says, '2.5 m tall, 130 kg, 40 cm dick, 1.5 kg left ball, 1.5 kg right ball, Turner Brown.'
The small white guy says, 'Thank God. I thought you said, "turn around".'
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| Posted by jana on 09-Aug-2005 | Pickle slicerBill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill declined saying that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.
Bill said, 'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?'
'Oh Bill, you didn't,' she said.
'Yes, I did,' said Bill.
'My God, Bill, what happened?'
'I got fired.'
'No, Bill, I mean what happened with the pickle slicer?'
'Oh, she got fired too.'
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| Posted by Rebecca A. Detrich on 09-Aug-2005 | Wife in ComaA man was visiting his wife in hospital where she had been in a coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this, she lets out a sigh.
The man runs out and tells the doctor, who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan.
From this, the doctor suggests that the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the man to be embarrassed.
The man goes in and then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asked what happened.
The man replied, 'She choked.'
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| Posted by Alicia Crow on 09-Aug-2005 | On the trainA man and a woman are riding next to each other in the first class carriage of a train. The man sneezes, pulls out his penis and wipes the tip.
The woman can't believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating.
A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again and again he pulls out his penis and wipes the tip.
The woman is about to go nuts. She can't believe that such a rude person exists. A few more minutes pass and the man sneezes again. He again takes his penis out and wipes the tip.
The woman has finally had enough.
She turns to the man and says, 'Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've removed your penis from your pants to wipe it. What kind of degenerate are you?'
The man replies, 'I am sorry to have disturbed you, ma'am. I have a very rare condition that means when I sneeze, I have an orgasm.'
The woman, now feeling badly, says, 'Oh, I'm sorry. What are you taking for it?'
The man looks at her and says, 'Pepper'
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| Posted by kAoS on 09-Aug-2005 | CabbieOne dismal rainy night in Sydney a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door.
Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in the back seat.
'Where to?' he stammered.
'Kings Cross,' answered the woman.
'You got it,' he said, taking another long glance in the mirror.
The woman caught him staring at her and asked, 'Just what the hell are you looking at, driver?'
'Well, madam,' he answered, 'I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare.'
The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver and said,
'Does this answer your question?'
Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked, 'Got anything smaller?'
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