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| Posted by Dayna E. Bias on 09-Aug-2005 | DeodorantHave you heard about the new deodorant called 'Umpire'?
It's for foul balls.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by donald a. scott on 09-Aug-2005 | SwappingTwo couples who have been friends for years decide to spend the weekend at a fancy hotel.
When they get there, one of the husbands suggests they get a little wild and swap partners.
After two hours of solid sex by the fireside, the man turns to his new partner and says, ???Wow! This is the best sex I??™ve had in years.???
???Yeah,??? his new companion agrees.
???I wonder how the girls are doing.???
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by david m. stwert on 09-Aug-2005 | Hold the MayoTwo college roommates are about to go to bed. The guy in the top bunk has his girlfriend sleeping over and to try to keep quiet, they devise a code.
His girlfrend will say tomato if she wants him to go slower and lettuce for him to go faster. As they begin to have sex, the girl starts to moan, "Lettuce, lettuce, tomato, tomato!"
The roommate on the bottom bunk wakes up the next morning and says, "Stop making sandwiches at night, you got mayonnaise in my eye!"
Submitted by BreeBrown
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Blake A. Cooper on 09-Aug-2005 | BuffetOnce upon a time two men had been sitting in a bar drinking for a considerable time and had started to become a wee bit inebriated and argumentative.
They argued about football, politics, women and so on. Eventually after more drinks they started arguing about a real guy thing, as to which of them had the largest pecker.
The barman was starting to get a bit irritated at all the ruckus the men were creating, but because he was used to this type of thing, said to them,
"Look, if you'll just cut out the noise, I'll be the judge of this argument.
Lay your peckers on the bar and I'll tell you which is the biggest."
The two men agreed to this and so they proudly laid their peckers on the bar. Just as the barman was about to give his decision, a gay fellow came in and walked up to the bar.
The barman told the two guys to wait a minute and turning to the gay chap said "What can I get you?"
The gay chap looked down at the bar and said, "Well I was just going to have a beer, but now I think I'll have a bit of the buffet!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Aardvark on 09-Aug-2005 | ChicagoIn a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car.
The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?"
Charlie replied, "Driving to Chicago!"
The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.
The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Charlie, how are you doing?"
Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago".
"Great," replied the nurse. The nurse leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously masturbating.
Shocked, she asks, "Bob, what are you doing?!"
Bob says, "I'm gettin' it on with Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Patrick J. Beverly on 09-Aug-2005 | SpaghettiGary and Mary go on their honeymoon.
Gary spends six hours of the honeymoon night eating Mary's pussy.
The next afternoon, they go to an Italian restaurant.
Suddenly, Gary starts to freak out. He screams, "Waiter! Waiter! Come over here!"
The waiter says, "Can I help you, sir?"
Gary yells, "There's a hair in my spaghetti! Get it the fuck out of here!"
The waiter apologizes up and down as he quickly takes the spaghetti away.
Mary looks over at Gary, and shaking her head, she whispers, "What a hypocrite you are. You spent most of last night with your face full of hair."
Gary says, "Yeah? Well, how long do you think I'd have stayed if I found a piece of spaghetti in there!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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