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| Posted by laken thompson on 11-Aug-2005 | Desire MaturesWhen I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with large breasts.
In high school, I dated a girl with large breasts, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl.
In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.
I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She never got excited about anything. So I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.
I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She was directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.
After college, I found an ambitious girl and married her. She was so ambitious, she divorced me and took everything I owned.
Now all I want is a girl with large breasts!
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| Posted by Debby Harwood on 11-Aug-2005 | Bad Date Signs!Not only is she a little young, but you're sure that you used to date
her mother.
...You find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play little
league with her.
...She has a thicker moustache than you.
...When you go to pick her up, her lawyer meets you at the door with a contract describing your duties and restrictions.
...You jokingly ask her if she wants to go down to Atlantic City and get married. She then informs you that leaving the state is a violation of her parole.
...Her bra and panties are wired to an alarm system.
...You are the first guy that she's gone out with that isn't her cousin.
...At the end of the night she gives you a coupon that is good for a free shot of penicillin at the nearest clinic.
...She beats up some guy for making fun of your hair cut.
...You wake up the next morning with a wicked hang-over. In the bed next to you is Janet Reno.
...At the end of the night, you drop her off at her house, and her pimp is waiting there with your bill.
...She keeps staring at you all through dinner, then finally asks if you want to meet satan.
...She constantly complains that her cat won't stop laughing at her.
...She informs you that you can't go out again because her spirit guide doesn't like you.
...She informs you that you can't go out again because her boyfriend doesn't like you.
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| Posted by Angie_Babes on 11-Aug-2005 | Great Pick Up Lines!I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.
Can I borrow that quarter, 'cause my mom told me to call home when I fell in love
What's wrong? You're looking a little sad and gloomy. What you need is some vitamin me.
Are your legs tired? 'cause you been running through my mind ALL day long.
Are you lost? 'cause it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.
Is your father a thief? 'cause he stole the sparkle from the stars, and put it in your eyes. (yo, watch out though, and be prepared with a snappy answer just in case she says 'yes')
Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.
If I said you were an angel, would you treat me like the devil tonight?
Can I see that label? I just wanted to know if you were made in heaven.
Do you like raisins? How about a date?
So... How am I doin'?
I miss my teddy bear...Would you sleep with me?
You look great and all, but do you know what'd really look good on you? Me.
Could I get some directions? ("To where?") To your heart.
Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Look at you, with all those curves, and me with no brakes.
Can I flirt with you?
Hi, my name's _____, but you can call me "lover".
(another quarter line). Could I borrow a quarter? 'cause I just want to call your mother and thank her.
(lick your finger and then touch her shirt). Here, let me help you out of those wet clothes.
What do you like for breakfast?
Say, did we go to different schools together?
Hi, my name is _____, how do you like me so far?
(At the copy machine) Reproducing, eh? Can I help?
Woman asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You : "Do you have the
energy?"
You look like the type of girl that's heard every line in the book. So what's one more?
Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
I'm new in town...could you give me directions to your apartment?
I think you're the most beautiful girl I've seen...on a Wednesday
I know this is going to sound like a line, but did that sound like a line? Are you disappointed?
I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.
Are you religious? Good, cause I'm here to answer your prayers.
Did it hurt? (Did what hurt) When you fell out of heaven.
Inheriting 80 million doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?
If your parents hadn't met, I'd be a very unhappy man right now.
Do you drink milk? It sure did your body good.
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| Posted by Ashley E. Who Cares on 11-Aug-2005 | More Pick Up Lines1. I want you almost as much as I want world peace.
2. You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
3. We both know that I am going to follow you home anyway, so why don't you just come along peacefully?
4. I envy your lipstick.
5. I just want to be loved - is that so wrong?
6. You remind me of an ice cold Pepsi - I've just gotta have it.
7. Do you believe in the hereafter? Good, then you know what I'm here after.
8. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
9. Baby, you look so sweet you're giving me a cavity.
10. Is it me or am I gorgeous?
11. I'd even marry your dog just to be related to you.
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| Posted by REM on 11-Aug-2005 | Pick Up Line Rejections!1. Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
2. The most memorable rebuttal to a turn down (used by the guy who used to live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked a girl to dance and she refused:
Man: "Want to Dance?"
Woman: "No, thank you."
Man: "Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you."
3. Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
4.Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "Female impersonator."
5. Q: What sign were you born under?
A: No Parking.
6. After hearing a pick-up line:
Woman: "I like your approach, now let's see your departure."
7. A girlfriend of mine once had a graying man in his 60's approach her in a club while she was in college with the line, "Where have you been all my life?" She took one glance at him and said, "For the first half of it, I probably wasn't born yet."
8. A friend of mine came up with a very quick response over vacation. We were walking down the street and I glanced at a girl who had just walked by. She turned around and said to me, "What are you looking at!?"
My friend, walking next to me came to the rescue, "He thought you were good looking, but he was mistaken."
9. While at college, a few friends were discussing how their "passes" had been rejected by the intended female receiver. One of the ladies explained how she handled it once...
When the guy, obviously getting irritated, blurted out something like, "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason!" She responded, "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
10. "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
11. Man: "Hey, baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good time."
Woman: " You know what your problem is? Your mouth is writing checks that your body can't cash."
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| Posted by Braden Anderson on 11-Aug-2005 | Change In FashionThis man is at work one day when he notices that his male co- worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
"Yo, Bob, I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Oh, yeah, sure," says Bob sheepishly.
"Really? How long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in our bed!"
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