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| Posted by Autumn on 09-Aug-2005 | Devil Visits A PartyThere was a man who was throwing a party at his house when suddenly and unexpectedly the devil showed up.
All of the people at the party started running out of the house except for the one man who was throwing the party.
The devil asked the man, "Why aren't you running away like the rest of those fools?"
The ran replied, "Are you kidding? Why should I?
I've been married to your sister for 28 years!"
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| Posted by Suki on 09-Aug-2005 | The MuleFarmer Jake had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing.
One day when he was out in the field, Jake's wife brought his lunch to him. Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining.
Suddenly, Jake's old mule kicked up his back legs, striking the wife in the head, and killing her instantly.
At the wake, Jake's minister noticed that when the women offered their sympathy to Jake he would nod his head up and down, but when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.
When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister approached Jake and asked, "Why was it that you nodded your head up and down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men?"
"Well," Jake replied, "the women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. The men all asked, 'Is that mule for sale?' and I shook my head, no."
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| Posted by Jon C. Phillips on 09-Aug-2005 | Honeymoon ProblemsA couple returned from their honeymoon and it's obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom's best man takes him aside and asks what is wrong.
"Well," replied the man "when we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."
"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend.
"I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!"
The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over this though... She gave me $20 change!"
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| Posted by Erin on 09-Aug-2005 | Help She's Drowning!Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw his wife flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man started to scream for help. A trout fisherman ran up.
The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I"ll give you a hundred dollars."
The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred?"
The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law."
The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?
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| Posted by Sameo X. Sameo on 09-Aug-2005 | Mark of RespectTwo men are sitting on a riverbank fishing. Suddenly, they look up and see a funeral procession going over the nearby bridge. One of the men takes off his cap and solemnly holds it over his heart.
"That was a nice gesture," says the other man
"Oh", replies the first man, "It was the least I could do, after all we were married for 25 years ???.
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| Posted by nick g on 09-Aug-2005 | Down The AisleA groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited!"
The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."
Now the bride comes walking down the aisle and she too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face. The maid of honour notices this and says, "Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited!"
The bride replies, "I have just given the last blow job of my entire life."
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