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| Posted by heids on 09-Aug-2005 | Dial 9A gentleman staying at the Ritz Hotel in London removes a card offering sexual services from a telephone box on Piccadilly.
Back at the hotel he rings the number.
A lady with a silky soft voice answers and asks if she can be of assistance.
The gentleman says, "I'd like a blow job, some missionary work, a little doggie-style, some mild bondage, finishing off with a pearl necklace. What do you think?"
The lady says, "I think it sounds intriguing, sir, but you might like to press 9 first to get an outside line."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Ella F. Unt on 09-Aug-2005 | Eating properlyA man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Ms. Piggy on 09-Aug-2005 | Palm readerPaul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table.
Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."
Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend."
"That's true," said Paul.
"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"
"Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"
"Love line? No, from the calluses."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Ricky D. Lynn on 09-Aug-2005 | GrandpaA man was walking down the street when he noticed his Grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked.
The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
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| Posted by Marlene R. Ehlers on 09-Aug-2005 | Elongated penisTwo brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises.
"How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers.
"It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied.
"I see," said the doctor, writing in his file.
"Your father's the reason for your elongated penises ?"
"No sir, our mother."
"Your mother?" the doctor asked. "You idiot, women don't have penises!"
"I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best as she could."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Mya F. Whooch on 09-Aug-2005 | Mutual orgasmQ: What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?
A: An insurance company.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Glaci
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