|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by derek on 14-Aug-2005 | Dick JokeA tomato, a pickle and a dick were arguing about who has it the worst.
The tomato says, "I have it bad because I get cut up and put in salads."
The pickle says, "You think you have it bad. I get cut up and put on
burgers."
Then the dick says, "You guys both got it easy. I have to put on a hat
every night and do pushups till I puke."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by kelly a. waever on 14-Aug-2005 | Little Johnny's Pink EraserOnce there was a small classroom in a decent school. One day,
Ms Young, the grade two teacher walked to the front of her class
and said, "Today, class, we are going to play a game." Ms YOung
stuck her hand in her pocket, "I have something in my pocket,"
she said, "it's round but not too round and its red but not too
red." Little Johnny raised his hand and yelled, "I know! I
Know! It's a red bouncy ball!" "No," replied Ms Young, "it's
an apple, but I like the way you think." She stuck her hand in
her other pocket and said "I have something in my pocket, it's
orange but not too orange and its round but not too round."
Johnny raised his hand and yelled, "I know! I know! Its an
orange bouncy ball!" "No," said Ms Young, "Its an orange, but I
like the way you think." Johnny yelled out, "I get this game!
May I go up now, pretty please?!" "Okay," Ms Young replied.
JOhnny ran up to the front of the class, and stuck his way deep
down in his pocket. "I have something in my pocket," he said,
"It's long but not too long and its pink but not too pink." The
teacher cried out, "you can't say things like that in class!"
Johnny replied, "Its my pink eraser, but I like the way you
think."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Jon Meister on 14-Aug-2005 | Man, Wife and PotatoesA man was worried that his wife was going deaf so he went to the
doctor. The doctor asked the man if he could brin his wife in,
but the man said she didn't like going out of the house.
The doctor gave him some instructions for a deafness test
written on a piece of paper and told him to come back and tell
him the results.
The man went home to where his wife was peeling potatos with her
back to the doorway and started reading the instructions on the
paper.
He stood by the doorway and said "Darling, I'm home, what are we
having for dinner?" very softly. No reply.
He went halfway across the room and said "Darling, I'm home,
what are we having for dinner?" in a moderate voice. No reply.
He went right up behind her and shouted "Darling, I'm home, what
are we having for dinner?" No reply.
He went right up next to her and screamed in her ear "DARLING,
I'M HOME, WHAT ARE WE HAVING FOR DINNER!!??"
His wive turned around looking very cross and said "Stew, I've
told you three times already!!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Sperplin on 14-Aug-2005 | woman goes to doctorOnce there was a women named Mrs. Owens, she goes to the doctor,
and when she gets there she gets undressed and the doctor comes
in.
The doctor couldn't help saying, "Mrs. Owens I couldn't help
noticing, but you have the biggest vagina I've ever seen".
So when she gets home she decides to see for her self.
She takes a BIG mirror off of the wall and she puts it on the
floor, then she gets undressed and stands on the mirror and
spreds her legs, then she hears her husband walk in from work
early, he comes in and says "what the hell are you doing?!" she
says "I'm excercising". He says "well, be careful not to fall
in that BIG hole there".
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Tara Foley on 14-Aug-2005 | Limos and GaragesOne day in a kindergarten class, a young boy went up to a girl,
pulled down his pants and asked, "What's this?" and the little
girl said that she didnt know. Then later that day she went up
to him and pulled her pants down and asked, "What's this?" and
the little boy said that he didnt know. That day after school
each child went home. When the little boy got home he pulled
down his pants and asked his brother, "Whats this?" his brother
replies, "That is your limo. You can park it in any garage you
want to." Satisfied with the answer, the little boy went to his
room. At the same time at the little girl's house she pulled
down her pants and asked her sister, "What this?" and her sister
told her, "That is your garage. Dont let ANY limo park in it."
Satisfied, the little girl went to her room. The next day in
class the boy went over to the little girl, pulled down his
pants and said, "My big brother said that this is my limo and I
can park it in ANY garage I want to." The little girl pulled her
pants down and said, "Well, my sister told me this is my garage
and I cant let ANY limos park in it." When the little girl went
home, her hands were all bloody. Her sister asked her what
happened and the little girl said, "A limo tried to get into my
garage, and I pulled its front wheels off."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Celebrities on 14-Aug-2005 | First TimeThe night was dark, the moon was low
I looked at her eyes which seemed to glow,
She licked my face, so nice and slow,
I touched her body and held her tight,
Oh what a lovely perfect night!
I put my hands on her warm breasts,
She lay there without any protest,
With her legs stretched wide, I bent down,
it was over quick,she didn't even make a sound
soon the flowing white stuff came out,
I knew that I did it some how,
it was my first time milking a COW!
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
