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| Posted by Ron Talley on 09-Aug-2005 | Did You Know???Did you know that the average intercourse or lay requires 30 strokes of 6 inches or 180 inches per lay. An average woman can take 3 lays per week, 540 inches or 45 feet of penis per week. Which means she accepts 2,340 feet of peter per year. Since a mile equals 5,280 feet, we learn that a women gets approximately one half a mile of peter a year. So if your not getting your 1/2 mile. Your getting screwed out of peter and don't even know it!
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| Posted by Max Hooper on 09-Aug-2005 | Not horny, but haveDick and Sally had been married for 40 years, and Sally was getting frustrated because Dick was not interested in sex much anymore.
Sally's neighbour suggested to Sally that she "spice" up her sex life by using new methods to turn on her husband. The neighbour suggested that Sally go out and buy a pair of crotchless panties, and wear them about the house as she was doing housework, and they would help her feel sexy.
The neighbour told Sally that all she would have to do was flash Dick with her new panties while they were watching TV later that night, and he would be on her like a flash.
After a few hours of wearing these new crotchless panties, Sally was feeling quite frisky and ready for some action. As they were watching the late night news, Sally winked at Dick, and flashed him a view of her new panties, and said "Honey, would you like some of this?"
He takes one look, and says "Hell no....I ain't touching that with a ten foot pole....LOOK WHAT IT DID TO YOUR UNDERWEAR !!"
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| Posted by barbara coleman on 09-Aug-2005 | Movie ComparisionWhat's the worst movie a man can be compared to?
Gone in 60 Seconds or Less
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| Posted by Jennifer R. Sobczak on 09-Aug-2005 | Bob's TatoBob's Tato
Bob had a Tato of a $1,000.00 bill tatoed on his winger wanger. When his friend Dave asked him why? He replied...
"Well you see... I like to watch my money grow and sometimes I like to play with my money, and when my wife wants to go out and blow a $1,000.00 bucks I just drop my pants."
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| Posted by Ben T. Halbig on 09-Aug-2005 | no beating around thNo Beating Around The Bush
Gee Miss., I know I haven't know you for a very long time, and I shouldn't be asking this so soon. But, I really do need it very badly. I haven't had any in a very long time. I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you would do this for me, no one would ever need to know. I an sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would. I am very desperate and really need your help. You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but, I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking all the juices out until it's dry. It has been on my mind all day and, Well, I'm not going to beat around the bush no more... Can I have a piece of your gum?
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| Posted by Paul Adelman on 09-Aug-2005 | A Dog Named SexA Dog Named Sex Everyone that has a dog names him "Rover: or "Champ" or something like that. Well, I named my dog sex. Now... Sex has been very imbarrassing for me. When I went to city hall to get him a licence... I told the clerk that I would like a licence for sex. He said "I would like one too!" Then I said "But this a dog."
He said " I don't care what she looks like."
I said "You don't understand, I've had sex since I was 9 years old."
He said, I must of been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon I took the dog along with us. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife, myself and specail one for sex. He said "That every room was for sex."
I said "You don't understand sex keeps me up at night."
He said "Me too!"
One day I enter Sex in a contest. But, before the compitition began, the dog ran off. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing and looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should of sold tikets.
"But you don't understand" I said " I had hoped to have Sex on TV."
He called me a show off!
When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said "Your Honor, I have had Sex before we were married."
The judge said "Me too."
Then I told him after I was married Sex left me."
He said "Me too!"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over and asked me "What are you doing in this alley at 4 a.m. in the morning?"
I said " I was looking for Sex."
The casse comes up on Frieday!!!
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