|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Tuck on 10-Aug-2005 | Did You Miss MeWe made some changes in our lives, since all the kids were finally out on
their own?
My husband became a health nut, went on a diet and lost 50 pounds. As for me,
after being a housewife for so many years, I decided to take a job at the local
restaurant.
When I returned home after my first day at work, I gave my husband a big hug.
He seemed to hold me much longer than usual.
"Did you really miss me that much today, dear?" I asked.
"Not really," you smell so much like hamburgers that I hate to let you go."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Laughing Lisa on 10-Aug-2005 | What happened?A courtroom is full; a man is being tried for injuring a passer-by by dropping
a refrigerator from the third floor.
The prosecutor questions the defendant. "Defendant, tell us what happened."
"I came back home from a business trip and felt something was wrong. My wife
was obviously very nervous. I asked her straight, "Where is he?" She wouldn't
say. Suddenly I see him through the window running by and wearing only skivvies.
Naturally, I was enraged, so I picked up the refrigerator and pushed it through
the window aiming at the bastard."
"Victim," the prosecutor says, "now tell us your story."
"I was jogging that morning as I do every day. Suddenly, there was that
refrigerator falling. I scarcely managed to get away, but still it hurt my
leg."
The prosecutor says, "Now the witness. What is your story? Where is the
witness?"
Two nurses lead the witness to the stand. He is all wrapped in
bandages.
"Witness, tell your story."
"Well, I was just sitting in that damned refrigerator when......"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Nick G. on 10-Aug-2005 | Everyday LifeAn old lady stops me in the street and says, ???Can you see across the road"
I reply ???Hang on love, I'll go and have a look"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Lord Raven on 10-Aug-2005 | Family LifeWe have a traditional marriage. . . My husband goes out and gets the bacon,
and I stay home and burn it.
I'm a terrible housekeeper; even my little white lies are tattletale gray.
My housekeeping is so bad..... that after doing it for 21 years I??™m still not
on a first name basis with Mr. Clean.
I'm a terrible cook...its official...Ralph Nader came over and declared my
"Cuisinart" unsafe at any speed.
Motherhood is an unfair job, it requires you have all the fun before it even
begins.
I must be an agnostic. Most of the time I doubt God's existence, but on the
first day of school . . . I'm a believer.
They live under your roof, they eat your food, they spend your money . . .
then they get married . . . hire live-in maids and break your heart.
I'm at that awkward age: I have a kid who can't wait to get behind the wheel
of a car and I can't manage without bifocals.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Burne L. Taylor on 10-Aug-2005 | Eat mushroomsOne man had four wives who all died. A colleague in the office asked him, "Why
did your first wife die?"
"Mushroom poisoning."
"And the second?"
"Mushroom poisoning."
"And the third?"
"Mushroom poisoning."
"And the fourth?"
"Concussion."
"???"
"Didn't want to eat mushrooms."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Herb E. Handcock on 10-Aug-2005 | So strong and braveA woman is in bed with her lover. she says, "my love, you're so strong and
brave, what would you do if suddenly my husband appeared in the doorway?"
"i would beat the s*** out of him. i would screw off his head and say it was
always that way...."
suddenly, they hear a frightened voice from the doorway, "no, no, i am still
for two more days on a business trip."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
