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():other gender & sex jokes (1462): Difference Between M


Posted by Charlie Nielsen on 09-Aug-2005

Difference Between M

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.

6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage & after marriage.
   

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():other gender & sex jokes (1462): toystory sex


Posted by Michelle Robertson on 09-Aug-2005

toystory sex

why didnt the pig in toy story wanna have sex? his cork kept falling off!!!!
   

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():other gender & sex jokes (1462): The Mature Male


Posted by 2COOL on 09-Aug-2005

The Mature Male

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now, I'm 40 and just looking for a girl with big tits.
   

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():other gender & sex jokes (1462): Clean Lesbian


Posted by Chelsea on 09-Aug-2005

Clean Lesbian

A lesbian goes to see her GP for her annual check up. The GP does an internal examination and says, "My, you're looking pretty clean these days" The lesbian replies, "I should be, I have a woman in three times a week!"
   

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():other gender & sex jokes (1462): Three Coins


Posted by Sarah mc noughty lol on 09-Aug-2005
Three Coins
Place three coins on the table in front of you. Pick one up and place it against your forehead.

Does this remind you of your first sexual experience? If not, scroll down. . . . . . . . .

Now hold two of the coins against your nose.

Does this remind you of your first sexual experience? If not, scroll down. . . . . . . . .

Now hold all three coins in one hand and shake them vigorously. Does *this* remind you of your first sexual experience?
   

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():other gender & sex jokes (1462): First Visit


Posted by wylie on 09-Aug-2005
First Visit
The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family.

"We've been trying for months now, doctor, and I don't seem to be able to get pregnant," she confessed miserably.

"I'm sure we??ll solve your problem," the doctor reassured her.

"If you'll just take off your clothes and get up on the examining table."



"Well, all right, doctor," agreed the young woman, blushing, "but I'd rather have my husband's baby."


   

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