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| Posted by linkin park on 14-Aug-2005 | Difference Between Men and WomenWomen have more imagination than men do.
They need it to tell us how wonderful we are.
Women have their faults. Men have only two.
Everything we say. Everything we do.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
Men always want to be a woman's first love.
Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last
romance.
A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks.
A woman loses hers after four kisses.
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():gender jokes (1878): Training Courses Now Available for Men |
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| Posted by Scott D. Bibee on 14-Aug-2005 | Training Courses Now Available for Men1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge
3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?: You CAN
Tell the Difference!
6. If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I
7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the
Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II
8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In
10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that
the Electronics Came In
11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the
Sink
12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!
13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're
About to Run Out of Toilet Paper!
14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old
Levis to the Goodwill
15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester
Shirts
16. No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the 4
Limitations of Your Kitchenware
17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!
18. Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down
and Ten" Means
19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut
20. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't
Fall Under the "Action/Adventure" Category or Selecting movies
that don't star John Wayne on television
21. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote
22. "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women
Laugh
23. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet
24. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed
25. "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It!
26. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty
27. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them
28. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime
29. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power
Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It
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| Posted by robby russo on 14-Aug-2005 | Why Coffee is Better than Women1. You don't have to put cream in your coffee to make it taste
good.
2. Coffee doesn't complain when you put whipped cream in it.
3. A cup of coffee looks good in the morning.
4. You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee.
5. You can always warm coffee up.
6. Coffee comes with endless refills.
7. Coffee is cheaper.
8. You won't get arrested for ordering coffee at AM.
9. Coffee never runs out.
10. Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.
11. You can take black coffee home to meet your parents.
12. You can make coffee as sweet as you want.
13. You can smoke while drinking coffee.
14. You can put out a cigarette in a cup of coffee.
15. Coffee smells and tastes good.
16. You don't have to put vinegar in your coffee.
17. If your coffee pot leaks, you can use a regular paper towel.
18. You can always get fresh coffee.
19. You can turn the pot on, leave the room, and it'll be hot
when you get back.
20. They sell coffee at police stations.
21. You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee.
22. Coffee goes down easier.
23. If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn't put on
weight.
24. No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of
coffee.
25. A big cup or small cup? It doesn't matter.
26. Your coffee doesn't talk to you.
27. Coffee smells good in the morning.
28. Coffee is good when it's cold too.
29. Coffee stains are easier to remove.
30. Coffee doesn't care when you dunk things in it.
31. Coffee doesn't care what kind of mood you're in.
32. Coffee doesn't shed.
33. Coffee is ready in 15 minutes or less.
34. You can't get a cup of coffee pregnant by putting cream in
it.
35. Coffee doesn't mind being ground.
36. No matter how bad coffee is, you can always make it better.
37. Coffee doesn't have a time of the month... it's good all the
time.
38. When coffee gets old, you can throw it away.
39. When you have a coffee, you don't end up with a pubic in the
back of your throat.
40. Coffee doesn't take up half your bed.
41. Coffee doesn't mind if you wake up at AM and decide to have
a cup.
42. INSTANT COFFEE!
43. You can have an intelligent conversation with coffee.
44. It can take up to 2 weeks for coffee to grow mold.
45. Your coffee won't be jealous of a larger cup.
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| Posted by XX2Gurly4UXX on 14-Aug-2005 | MenQ: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good
looking?
A: They already have boyfriends.
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| Posted by Carla J. Hicks on 14-Aug-2005 | Men...Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties...
Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor lock.
Q: Why do men like masturbation?
A: Because it's sex with someone they love...
Q: Why are men like laxitives?
A: Because they irritate the shit out of you...
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| Posted by sus lee on 14-Aug-2005 | Women?1) Is it just me or do women always have to own ten thousand
shoes that they never use?
2) Is is just me, or when you ask a women what's wrong, and she
says something like "fine" or "nothing" it really means "I'm
pissed off at you and you have about twenty minutes to guess,
take responsibility say sorry ten times or your cut off for two
weeks."
3) Why do women have to look at everything when they go
shopping? And then get mad at us when we don't wanna go?
4) Why can't we plain old quick hot monkey sex with a women,
instead of "making love"
5) Why can't women accept the fact that lesbians are cool!
6) Why can't women accept that when an attractive women walks by
with a low cut top and huge breasts we have no control over
staring at them!
7) Why can't women get over the fact that when ever they ask
"how do I look", and we say fine, we always have to say yes!
8) Sports are the ultimate escape for us guys who are no good at
them, let us watch them in peace or don't expect us to go to a
ballet or opera.
9) If the toilet seat is up, do the logical thing and put it
down!
10) Don't expect guys to like your dad or ex-boyfriend
11) Realize that guys are no too bright, so when we say we're
fine we probably are. If you wanna know what is going on in a
guy's mind it's either the Smurfs theme music or some useless
sports stuff.
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