|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Target on 09-Aug-2005 | DifferenceWhat is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew the lightbulb!
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Becca Dawson on 09-Aug-2005 | The switchFarmer Brown and his wife were working in the field one day about dusk.
As they were heading back to the house they saw a bunch of strange lights way out in the field.
Upon ariving Farmer Brown and his wife saw a spaceship landing. They were approached by two aliens.
The aliens said they were researching human sex life and wanted to know if they could partner switch.
After talking it over Farmer Brown and his wife agreed. The next morning the aliens left.
Farmer Brown was dying to ask his wife what happened. Finally he couldn't stand it anymore and broke down and asked her, "Well what happened?"
She replied, "It was the best sex I ever had!"
"Why?" asked Farmer Brown.
"Well when he took off his pants it wasn't but an inch long and as big around as my pinky, but then he reached up and turned his left ear and it grew as to 16 inches, then he turned his right ear and it got as big around as a sausage."
Farmer Brown said, "Well shit, no wonder that bitch was trying to rip my ears off!!"
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Julie Cooper on 09-Aug-2005 | Toe curlingA couple were indulged in sexual intercourse and the man noticed that with each movement of his penis, his partner's toes would rise.
Later that night, while going at it pretty hot and heavy in the shower, her toes remained still.
Confused, he asked, "Why is it that when we do it in bed, your toes go up, but when we do it in the shower, they don't?"
"Silly," she replied, "I take my pantyhose off in the shower!"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by keith on 09-Aug-2005 | Little JohnnyLittle Johnnie sees his Daddy's car passing the play-ground and go into the woods.
Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane in a 'Passionate Embrace'.
Johnnie finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly.
"I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane layed down on the seat, then Daddy.."
At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnnie, this is such an interesting story. Suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnnie to tell his story, so Johnnie starts his story, describing the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and...
"...then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the army."
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by blueindiansquaw
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Becca A. Stewart on 09-Aug-2005 | Getting screwedA traveler knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told him he could be sexually accommodated.
An eye-level panel slid open and a female voice asked what he wanted.
"I want to get screwed," said the man.
"OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip twenty bucks as an initiation fee through the mail slot," answered the voice.
The man slid his $20 bucks in, the panel was closed. Minutes passed and nothing happened.
He began to pound on the door insistently, and the panel slid open again.
"Hey," exclaimed the sport, "I want to get screwed!"
"What?" said the voice, "Again?"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Katiekate m. Star on 09-Aug-2005 | Custom fitThere is a sign in the drugstore window: "Condoms, custom fit."
So a man walks up to the counter and asks for a condom, like the sign says.
The man at the counter tells him to see Edith in aisle 4. So the man finds Edith.
Edith grabs the man by the crotch, then gets on the PA system and says, "Medium condom. Medium condom."
Well the man is embarrassed, but goes to the counter to get his condom.
Later, a second man sees the sign in the window, and goes up to the counter to get his condom.
The druggist tells him to see Edith in aisle 4.
Same thing happens, Edith grabs his crotch, gets on the PA and says, "Large condom, this man needs a large condom."
The man is pleased, at least, to be a large.
Next a teenager goes into the drugstore to get a fitted condom, and is told to see Edith is aisle 4.
Edith grabs his crotch, gets on the PA and says, "Clean-up in aisle 4, clean-up in aisle 4."
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
