|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Carole A. Heath on 14-Aug-2005 | Different Packs of CondomsA father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen
upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so
many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, "You see
that 3 pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2
for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night."
The son then asks his father, "What's the 6 pack for?" The
father replies, "That's for when you're in college. You have 2
for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday
morning."
Then the son sees the 12 packs, with his eyes wide open, he
asks, "What about the 12 pack?" The father replies, "That's for
when you're married. You have one for January, one for February,
one for March..."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Mya F. Whooch on 14-Aug-2005 | Groom's Blow JobA groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by
the altar and the best man notices the groom has the biggest,
brightest smile on his face. The best man says, "Hey man, I know
you are happy to be getting married, but what's up? You look so
excited!"
The groom replies, "I just had the best blowjob I have ever had
in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave
it to me."
Now the bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the
biggest, brightest smile on her face. The maid of honor notices
this and says, "Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be
getting married, but what's up? You look so excited!"
The bride replies, "I have just given the last blow job of my
entire life."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Wilhelmina C. Ostag on 14-Aug-2005 | Weightloss ProgramOne day a boy walked in on his parents having sex. His mom was
laying on top of his dad. He didn't understand what was
happening so he figured he'd ask his mom later.
Later the boy asked his mom,"Mommy what were you to daddy
before?" His mom stuttered and said,"You know how daddy is
getting kind of fat? Well when I lay on him, it slims him down."
"Well mommy, that won't work. Because right after you leave for
work, the lady next door comes and blows him right back up."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Lily A. Surge on 14-Aug-2005 | Masked OrgyMany years ago, this man decided to go to a masked orgy with the
knowledge that his wife would probably be out of town. Having
not been to one since his bachelor party many years ago, he was
excited and nervous. He eventually dressed as a knight, and
arrived with high hopes.
When the man arrived, he saw that he was the only one dressed as
anything like what he was, so he was naturally embarassed.
However, the women were all over him, thinking that his costume
was so cute. One woman in particular was hanging around him.
Dressed in a raccoon costume, an old fetish of his for fur
attracted him to her.
"I hope you don't mind my costume," she said. "Don't worry, I
have a thing for fur," replied the man. "Do you want to go to
bed?" he added. The woman said, "Yep, my husband doesn't need to
know about this." To this, the man said, "Yeah, I cheat on my
wife all the time, and ignorance is bliss."
The two people went into a back room and started going at it in
their costumes. They then went their separate ways for awhile
and enjoyed the party. Two hours later, the man approached the
woman.
"I had so much fun tonight... do you want to do it again
sometime?" he asked. "Of course!" replied the excited woman,
"here's my phone number... be careful about my husband." She
proceeded to give him his phone number.
The man bit his lip. "That can't be. That's MY phone number.
Unless... HOLY SHIT, YOU'RE MY WIFE!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by shane on 14-Aug-2005 | The WillMichael Jones was a 61 year old man who died in his sleep. He was a piece
loving man. He always tried to keep the family from falling apart. He was
very wealthy. Before he died he promised good fortune to his family in his
will.
His friends and family gathered together to read the will:
To my son John. Whom i love dearly. But do not trust with shit. Give him
my jewels. So maybe he'll stop stealing other peoples.
To my daughter Jessica. Give her a thousand dollars of my money. She'll
just smoke it up on drugs. The damn druggie. When will you learn.
To my grand baby Tee Tee. Give her a scholarship to any college in the
world that she wants to go to and nothing more because she might just end
like her mother. A druggie.
My loving wife. Give her shit on a platter. The cheating bitch. Get her
out of my house at once.
Last to my secretary, give her all of my money, house, car, investments
and my island. She can suck a mean dick.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Mike Miller on 14-Aug-2005 | Where have you been?Where have you been?
One day, after having his dinner, a man decides to go
down to the local bar to buy cigarretts. In the bar,
he decides to order a drink and notices a beautiful
blonde giving him the eye. He decides to go over and
strike up a conversation. She invites the man over to
her apartment for sex and he agrees. They go and they
have the best sex he's ever had. He then realizes that
it is very late and his wife is going to kill him. He
asks the blond if she has any talcum powder and she
hands him a bottle. He sprinkles powder all over his
hands and rushes home. His wife immediately attacks
him "Where the hell have you been? I thought you were
only going out for cigarretts?" The man replies,
"Honey, I'm sorry. I did go for cigarrettes, but then
I decided to have a drink. Next thing you know, this
real hot blond comes up to me and asks me over to her
place for sex. Only a real dumbass would have said no
to a hot piece like that, so I accepted, we got to her
place and had every kind of sex possible. I'm really
sorry, honey." She notices the powder on his hands and
replies, "Do I look stupid to you, you son of a bitch?
I see the powder on you hands. You went out bowling
with the boys!!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
