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| Posted by Fluffy on 10-Aug-2005 | DINGERSTwo parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father
goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.
The son comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with
boobies a lot bigger than yours!"
The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,
"Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"
The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,
"Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and
more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"
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| Posted by Brittany E. Stange on 10-Aug-2005 | WHAT'S FOR DINNER?Once a young boy was watching his mother take a bath. As she got out to dry
off, he notices her upper torso he asks, "Momma, what are those?"
She replies, "Son, those are my breasts."
As she turns he back to him he asks, "Momma, what is that?"
She replies, "Son that is my derriere."
As she turns to slip on her robe he spies her nether region and asks, "Momma,
what is that?"
She replies, "That, son, is none of your business!"
Later the boy is playing by the kitchen door, and the father comes in from
work hungry. The father hollers toward the kitchen to the mom, "Hey honey,
what's for dinner?"
She replies, "None of your business."
The son shaking his head says, "YUCK!"
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| Posted by Matt Reed on 10-Aug-2005 | BODY LANGUAGEA young guy out on the town with his mates spies the girl of his dreams across
the dance floor. having admired her from afar he plucks up the courage to talk
to her. everything goes better than expected and she agrees to accompany him on
a date the following saturday evening.
saturday night arrives and the man arrives at her house laden with flowers and
chocolates. to his amazement she answers the door in nothing but a towel. "i'm
sorry," she exclaims, "i am running a bit late. please come in and i'll
introduce you to my parents who will entertain you while i finish getting
dressed. i should warn you however, that they are both deaf mutes."
with this she ushers him into the living room, introduces him to her parents
and promptly disappears. as you can imagine this is a little uncomfortable as
both parents are completely silent. dad is sitting in his arm chair watching the
soccer game, and mom is busy knitting. after about ten minutes of complete
silence, mom suddenly jumps from her chair, pulls up her skirt, pulls down her
panties and pours a glass of water over her ass. just as suddenly dad launches
himself across the room bends her over the couch and takes her from behind. he
then sits back down in his chair and places a match stick under each eye lid.
the room is plunged back into eerie silence and the young man is shocked into
disbelief. after another ten minutes, the mother again rises from her chair,
pulls up her skirt, pulls down her panties and throws another glass of water
over her ass. dad leaps up gives her one from behind and places two more match
sticks under his eyelids.
no sooner have they concluded this strange behavior and the daughter returns
fully dressed ready for their date. the evening is a complete disaster with the
young man completely distracted by the goings on in the living room.
at the end of the evening the girl asks, "what's the matter? have i done
something wrong?"
"it's not you," replied her date, "it's just that the strangest thing happened
while i was waiting for you and i am still a bit shocked."
after pleading with him to explain in more detail the young man reluctantly
recounts the story. 'well, first your mother jumps from her chair and lifts up
her skirt. she then pulls down her panties and throws a glass of water over her
behind."
"i see," says the girl, "what happened then?"
"well, if that isn't enough you??™re father races from his chair leans mom over
the couch and does her from behind. he then sits back down and places a match
stick under each eye lid."
"oh, is that all?" replies the girl.
the young man can't believe the casual response to this weird practice.
"it's easily explained. mom was simply saying, 'are you going to get this
a****** a drink?' and dad was replying, 'no, screw him. i'm watching the
match.'"
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| Posted by Donna on 10-Aug-2005 | I left moneyA husband left for work. He walked out from the multi-story apartment house
where he lived on the sixth floor, and remembered that he forgot money for
lunch. He shouted to his wife, "Masha! I left money. Please, drop fifty kopeks
for me!"
The wife walked to the balcony and said, "Always you forget something. With
you, nothing is right, you dunderhead." Still, she went into the apartment,
found fifty kopeks in several small coins and shouted, "How can I drop these
coins? They will scatter all over the street."
"No problem," the husband said. "Just wrap them in a three-ruble bill."
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| Posted by EleC_TriCk on 10-Aug-2005 | THE VIRGIN BIRTHA woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay,
Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"
The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings;
she's putting on weight and is sick most mornings."
The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother and says,
"Well, I don't know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant. About 4
months would be my guess."
The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone
with a man! Have you Darla?"
Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five
minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there
doctor?"
The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time
anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came
over the hill. I'll be damned if I'm going to miss it this time!"
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| Posted by Marco Fonseca on 10-Aug-2005 | Let me thinkA girl came back home from the school and asked her grandmother, "Granny, what
is a lover?"
"A lover?" the grandmother said. "Let me think. Lov.... Lover.... Oh, my God!"
She rushed to the wall, pulled aside the hanging rug, revealing a hidden closet
door. She unlocked the door, and a skeleton of a young man fell out from the
closet.
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