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| Posted by Kenny S. Goff on 09-Aug-2005 | Dinner DateA girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents.
This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection.
The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in."
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down.
Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious."
The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
Submitted by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤
Edited by BreeBrown
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| Posted by Jason C. Johnson on 09-Aug-2005 | ResearchIn 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft.
After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.
After the U.S. published the study, France decided to do their own study.
After $250,000.00 and 3 years of research, they concluded that it was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.
Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study.
After 2 weeks and a cost of $76.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him on the forehead.
Submitted by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤
Edited by BreeBrown
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| Posted by James P. Bond on 09-Aug-2005 | Hold the chickensOne day, farmer Williams was in town picking up supplies for his farm.
He stopped at the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Then he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, he now had a problem, how to carry all his purchases home.
The livestock dealer said: "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Hey thanks!" the farmer said and off he went. While walking he met a little old lady who told him she was lost.
She asked: "Can you tell me how to get to 123 Township Road?"
The farmer said: "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 132 Township Road. Let's take my shortcut and go down this alley; we'll be there in no time."
The little old lady said: "How do I know that when we get in the alley, you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"
The farmer said: "Holy smokes lady, I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The lady said: "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket and I'll hold the chickens...."
Submitted by calamjo
Editted by curtis
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| Posted by Hot wee devil on 09-Aug-2005 | V.D. ?A young couple was making passionate love in the guy's van (shag carpets, big double mattress in the back... all that) when suddenly the girl, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out "Oh big boy, whip me, whip me!"
The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the aerial off his van and proceeds to whip the girl until they both collapse in sadomasochistic ecstasy.
About a week later, the girl notices that the marks left by the whipping session are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.
The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?"
The girl is a little embarrassed but admits that, yes, she did.
Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims, "I thought so, because in all my years of doctoring, you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen!"
Submitted by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤
Edited by Clark Kent
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| Posted by Countess E. Bathori on 09-Aug-2005 | Open widerThere was a couple going at it for the first time, and after a while, the guy asks the woman to open her legs a little wider.
She does and they continue.
A few minutes go by and he tells her again, "Open your legs a little wider."
She does, then he says again, "A little wider, hon."
The woman starts getting pissed off but she does it.
This continues until he asks again, "Can you open them just a little wider?"
So she finally yells, "What are you trying to do; get your balls in too?"
He says "No, I'm trying to get them out."
Submitted by ?¤?‡??rt??§?¤
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by Alan Kovacs on 09-Aug-2005 | Dont spill the paintA man and his girlfriend were messing around in bed.
"Slow down, baby," she said. "Foreplay is an art."
"Well, you better get your canvas ready," he said, "because I'm about to spill my paint!"
Submitted by curtis
Edited by yisman
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