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| Posted by Ross J. Millar on 09-Aug-2005 | Dirty magazineOne day mom was cleaning her son's room and under the bed, she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her.
She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him.
He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word.
She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?"
Dad looked at her and said, "Well, I don't think you should spank him."
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| Posted by Justin Collingwood on 09-Aug-2005 | Not a memberA man was invited to play at his friend???‚¬?„?s course and during the round he felt the call of nature, was far away from the toilets and so he went behind a tree believing that he was unobserved.
However, on a parallel fairway, three lady members were playing. As they passed they were surprised to observe just a very private part of a man???‚¬?„?s anatomy protruding from around the tree.
"He???‚¬?„?s certainly not my husband, I can tell, said the first lady, Disgusting".
"I???‚¬?„?m glad he???‚¬?„?s not mine either," said the second lady.
"It really is a damned cheek, said the third. That???‚¬?„?s not even a club member!"
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| Posted by rachel furman on 09-Aug-2005 | Good in bedThere once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an ad in the paper which outlined her requirements.
She wanted a man who would treat her nicely, wouldn't run away from her, and would be good in bed.
Then, one day, she heard the doorbell ring. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs.
"I'm here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you."
"Yes, but are you good in bed?"
"How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
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| Posted by Josh s. Parker on 09-Aug-2005 | Zoo timeA young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgets his watch. He searchs for someone who could give him the time.
He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. "Excuse me sir," says the young man "do you know what time it is?"
The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them.
"Mmmmm, it is about 3:00" the zoo keeper responds.
The young man looks at him in awe, "How did you know that?" The zoo keeper looks back at the man, "I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you."
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| Posted by Matt K on 09-Aug-2005 | Nursing homeA man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra.
The man asks, "Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?"
The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep."
The man says, "And the Viagra?"
"Keeps him from falling out of bed."
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| Posted by Joseph E. Pennisi on 09-Aug-2005 | Golf accidentTwo women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.
"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied, still in pain, in the foetal position, still clasping his hands together in his groin.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage him.
She then asked, "How does that feel?"
He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
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